If i cant be cool, i guessed at least i want to be hot

2008-12-05T00:20:00.000+08:00

just now went down to draw money at atm. before me is a factory worker he got tao bao one packet of cai png and he put on the atm while drawing money.

then after that he forgot to take his rice and left..me saw already, quickly go and take the rice and tried to run away..then he came back and caught me. i keep kay siao die die say the rice ish mine..cos me is too hungry..and me ish ask him got proof to say is his or not?

he sibei dulan, say if I dun put down he confirm hoot me. me faster pretend take out my hp and call mata keke..he hum ji then run away..

me is got 1 packet of free cai png :D

2008-09-30T23:46:00.000+08:00

Its been so long.

I told myself that i wouldn't blog anymore ever since the last one.

But for this i have to, because its for the most important person of my life.

Baby , although it has been quite a short period of time. It feels really long for me, but it is an awesome 'long'.

You make me feel amazing, I've never feel the same about myself before i met you. Everytime i see you, i feel so comfortable and i feel so happy. It was as if the world became much lighter, and i got skinnier. You make me feel so beautiful. Every morning when i woke up, the only person i can see in the mirror is not my hair but your face. I dont know , but i guess this means that its love.

Having said that, baby i wished for this anniversary a life time anniversary. I wanna see you even when i die, hopefully i fart in your face while we're both in the same coffin. Hahahaaha Happy 3rd month anniversary sweetheart. <3

PS: The baby i meant was the younger baby not the older one

2008-07-16T16:35:00.000+08:00

I

A
M

V
E
R
Y

L
U
C
K
Y
:
)

2008-07-09T20:06:00.003+08:00

Now why

dont you

just

shut

the

fuck

up

:)

2008-07-09T16:51:00.000+08:00

One eventful day, i was on my way home.I saw this girl who is about the same age as me sitting just opposite me in the train. She had the plain jane look and her fringeless hair. She was reading a story book, and she looked like she was in a world of her own. It then hit me, when i saw her smiling to herself looking somewhat attractive.

Not that i have thoughts like these often, but just recently i've been having deep insights. That girl although looking plain and probably a little boring i may guess, she seemed like she was "HERSELF" and i thought to myself.

Have i been myself?

2008-07-07T21:52:00.000+08:00

Recently i've been truly amused by the increasing number of whiners be it in dota, sports or LIFE.

Example A (DOTA) : A rogue knight just horribly died to a tower at level 1, Shadowfiend : "Why are you such a fucking noob?" . Rogue knight exclaims to his other teammates about SF calling him a noob. "Why did he call me a noob! He is so mean, he hurt my feelings :< :< :< :< :< " "Awww my poor little baby, that person must be such an asshole please ignore him , come fall into my arms baby rogueknight let me pat your hat" FOR FUCK SAKE, whats the POINT? yes yes you can cry about your feelings being hurt, but in the end that doesn't change the fact that you are still a noob?

Its just the same, If i call you a slut in your face surely that means something(not that i actually did in your face, maybe your barely visible tits.) You can go whine about it ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL you want, i'll still call you a slut. You can shut my mouth up by telling SUPERIORS (IE, Icefrog or god ) that i call you a slut, I"ll still think that you are a slut.Whats the point....? Im terribly sorry that i hurt your feelings(Not that i actually cared) but its just the same anywhere, i..don't..really..give a shit. :)

Then again, to have a packet of chocolate milk talking about me truly is..a humiliation.

Lastly i love my girlfriend. amen

2008-07-01T22:11:00.000+08:00

The start of something new

It has been so long, far so long . I've been searching for this certain someone for so long..far too long.

Wait, maybe not that long :)

From the start, we've never run out of topics to say. I've always been entertained, always laughing. But gradually this entertainment turned into an entertainment i want more of, something i thought would be horrible if it disappears from my life.

Slowly this entertainment turned into a blessing, such a blessing that made me go feel like the luckiest man on earth. Its the kind of "When you love someone, its something, When someone loves you, its another thing. However when you love that someone who loves you back, its EVERYTHING" .
A blessing that shares two hearts, two souls. One beat.

Oh man, i feel so awesume, elated EVERYTHING. Words alone cant express how i feel.

It was a little hard at first, everything was going really fast. But even as things were going really fast, i told myself that in this vast world of 4 billion . For 2 people to share a love is such fate, I told myself that i had to have faith.

Its hard to find someone whom you truly love, much less someone who loves you just as much.

And then i did it, no.. We did it :)

n1c3 37a

2008-03-19T23:13:00.001+08:00

Its quite funny how old memories keeps flowing back to me. I cant believe how much i had changed from i was a little boy(I had my times when i was little).

When i was a little boy, i was very quiet. Although i was very quiet, strangely i had many friends. And some of these friends grew up with me in a very comfortable environment I had many many many different memories with these friends. All of which were very special memories to me. These friends make up most of my "happy childhood". But we can never remain as a child.

So as people start to grow up, they start to take choices. Choices that will change their life forever. Im happy to know that my friends had made unregrettable choices. When i think about the times i spent with these friends when i was a child, I couldn't help but smile widely. I also could not help but feel pretty much upset.

For we lived in the same environment, the very happy environment. I was the distinctive one. The only who who wasn't as sucessful(in a way) as them. Sigh they had all grown up.... :)

这里的空气很新鲜
这里的小吃很特别
这里的lette不像水
这里的夜景很有感觉

在一万英尺的天边
在有港口view的房间
在讨价还价的商店
在凌晨喧闹的三四点

可是亲爱的你怎么不在我身边
我们有多少时间能浪费
电话再甜美
传真再安慰
也不足以应付不能拥抱你的遥远
我的亲爱的你怎么不在我身边
一个人过一天像过一年
海的那一边
乌云一整片
我很想为了你快乐一点
可是亲爱的
你怎么不在身边

2008-03-17T22:04:00.003+08:00

437 words

Speed test

2008-02-04T22:23:00.000+08:00

Today I got fucking sent up the stage for eating oranges
Today I got fucking sent up the stage for eating oranges

Today I got fucking sent up the stage for eating oranges

Today I got fucking sent up the stage for eating oranges

Today I got fucking sent up the stage for eating oranges

Today I got fucking sent up the stage for eating oranges

2008-02-04T22:11:00.000+08:00

Talking to myself and feeling low... Sometimes i'll like to quit, never ever seems to fit. Hanging around, nothing to do but frown.

Rainy days and Mondays always get me down..

What i've got , is what they used to call the blues. Nothing is really wrong. Feeling like i dont belong, walking around...some kind of lonely clown.

Sigh rainy days and Mondays always get me down..

Funny. But it seems like the only thing i can do, Run and find the one who loves me.

What i feel has come and gone before.

Everyone has two sides.

I wish for a better time, a better day, a better moment.

I am so sick and tired.

I keep lying to myself.

Is it really me, or its the world?

Words

2007-10-15T02:58:00.000+08:00

Someone once told me this, "If out of these 16 years of life, the number of true friends you have sums up to more than 0. Its good enough". In the past, i've always wanted more and more friends. I've always thought about how lonely i was, about how little friends i had. How stupid was I to have forgotten about the few people who had constantly covered my ass; not literally la lOl.
Thanks little sis, and little illiterate shit.

I've seen some people ruining their lives irresponsibly all the time, I feel really sad for them. Why would i say irresponsibly, because these people think that their moment of pain is only a personal thing. Its not. By cutting your wrists, by hurting yourself would only make the people who loves you painful. By hurting yourself, You won't change a thing. Suck it up , you are not a little kid anymore.

The key to happiness is contentment. I am very happy with my life currently, I've got my little sister to accompany whenever I need her. Despite sometimes after pinching our slapping my fat arms; leaving a white mark there, Im very happy, besides Im already USED TO IT . Life will be great.

I remembered that when I was born, everyone was smiling while i was crying. I've got a goal. This goal of mine would be that I want to live my life so happily that when I die, everyone is crying while i am smiling.

Friends are not that important, brothers and sisters are ;)

2007-08-17T00:05:00.000+08:00

Why do birds suddenly appear? Everytime you are near. Just like me, they to to be..close to you.

It happened every single time, Not a little good sign. The sense of not belonging. Why is it that everytime I truly sit down and find someone that i really fond of, that person gets taken away. This is so sad. There was this statistic about different people that were borned on certain days, different "trees" were grouped according to their month of birth etc.

I was classified as a "Chest Nut Tree": Honest, Difficulty finding a partner. Yes, I will have difficulty finding a partner. I shall love myself after all.

Oh damn it, Im not here to rant or anything like that. However I seriously dislike people talking about you when they haven't got a clue on what's going on at all. This are the kind of people, Who we label them as "Empty Nut Shells" . No Hazel my dear, I am not talking about you. You are truly a natural, Just kidding.

What I've got is what they used to call the blues. No honestly, Nothing is happening really. Its just the kind of feeling that i dont belong, feeling like a lonely clown. Sometimes I like to quit doing this game of life,Heck I onced planned out my funeral as well.

However at least now, It is not a time to grief. It is not a time to be disheartened. It is the time to do something I ought to have started doing a long time ago : Study.

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH, Damn i gotta get a grip. I've got a little buddy, and she's trying so hard. That little pohci. Im learning. As she grows, im growing further. And she grows even further. And i grow wider. She grows taller. I grow wider. Eventually I fit the entire of my room, 1000 pounds of fat. Ok damn Good night

lol

2007-07-17T19:20:00.000+08:00

As the pok of dick sings in my ass

I feel like a dick

I feel like a turd

I feel like a shit

I feel like a dickhead/shithead.

But i feel happy.

This might sound like any other rant to any of you, but trust me. Im actually very disappointed with myself over this. Everytime i attempted to do my music well, I FAIL

I really really really wanna play my piano well. I think i've said this more than 10 times; I use realistic figures ok, unlike . LOL

Recently i feel really disappointed over myself over certain issues. The first, is of course my piano. HONESTLY, My parents had spent more than over 10 thousand on this "hobby" of mine. And ya la, sometimes they would say "very nice!, very well played" etc. I would say, they just dont know how to gauge between the levels of a average player and a noob. I fall between the lines of worse than a noob.
I really really feel so stupid, whenever i've got the determination for something; Results, exercising etc.
I will give up half way, damn it.

2nd, I dont usually talk much about my siblings. But up till this day, i must say i really respect my older brother a lot. Although he used to tease me when i was young; We used to punch EACH OTHER WHEN WE WERE YOUNG YOU KNOW! When he grew older, he will never push his responsibilities of a older brother away. Although so obviously he is in the superior side, he never fails to take his time to teach me chemistry. My older brother is not someone is exceptionally blessed with the tongue, but nonetheless he can speak very well; just not exceptionally well. But my older brother is someone whom i really love. Which is why, i decided i should strive to become like him. HE IS SO SKINNY NOW, damn it so muscular. Of course la, he is shorter than me and all. But in terms of mass/wideness i own him upside down(And i am very ashamed of myself LOL).

3rd, Guts.
I've got only one sentence for this section.
How long could you play the waiting and dreaming game?

The other day i went to yen sze's so called gathering, i enjoyed myself thoroughly. Found some new friends, Wen hui and guo jun and leslie and some 2 guys which i so obviously forggoten their name. Wen hui's a funky girl, and guo jun's a gentle guy and leslie's a i have no comment guy.

We played basketball, and guo jun kept thinking im going clubbing after that due to my UNIFORM.

But in all, i had a wonderful time and of course a very well deserved experience.

A good friend of mine quarrelled, and we got back as normal, and quarrelled, and got back as normal. Oh man this karmic-cycle is never ending. But im happy enough to know a dick.

Anyway, today i went to eat my feared meatballs. I mean, it tasted nice la. But damn it, I tell you i think im some how allergic to it. I am feeling the coodies after a while T_T . Anyway, i was with the emog company, the emotional Gs. They were so quiet, and quiet. Sigh, and they have weird combinations of food. Meatballs with CAKE? COME ON! LOL.

We did a lot of kinky stuff in the whole of ikea, and even played hide and seek with GERRI! LOL, AND GENESIS FELL DOWN BOO HOO.

2007-07-16T22:56:00.000+08:00

Knocking sense into me was one of my friend's favourite past time. I was quite stumped when i got prompted yet again about the most annoying issue.

Yes, I believe that i am undeserving. Sometimes i just feel that, if someone had lost faith in me. It is something i asked for, and something that i should had no complains about.

But somehow, somewhat i'll manage it. Be it emotionally, or mentally.

I figured that no one is obliged to care for you in this world, So i'll tell myself that i'll love myself and mostly myself.

It is up to us to find the light, in this dark world. We cannot rely on family or parents any more. We need to be self-reliant. Not just financially. Emotionally, mentally, psychologically.

* Everyone in your current life, will, sooner or later, make his or her exit.

Nothing is eternal. Only you yourself, would follow you through your journey of life. Even your spouse will make an exit one day.

Yes, the love between you and your partner can be very, very strong. But even the sun would run out of energy, 500 billion years later.

What I want to say is: rely on no one but yourself. Seek to understand yourself. Understand that nothing in this world is permanent. Seek to be contented with what you have. Do not let self-contentment hinder your progress, but do not let your lack of progress cause emotional distress.

This is something i will constantly tell myself. thanks hexakosioihexakontahexaphobia.

2007-07-11T21:51:00.000+08:00

OBVIOUSLY YOU HAVE NO GRASP OVER ENGLISH.

I SAID, RATHER THAN CONCERNING ABOUT HOW I FUCKING FEEL. WHY NOT YOU ADDRESS TO THE ACTUAL ISSUE. OH GOD, DO YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND? OH FUCK YOU, ALL YOU THINK IS ABOUT YOUR FUCKING FUCKED UP SELF BUT YOU CANT GIVE ANY CONSIDERATION TO ME. "now i'll tell you how i feel, ya blah blah blah". FUCK YOU! I've always been tolerant, and very very appreciative. DONT FUCKING TELL ME ABOUT BEING APPRECIATIVE, WHEN YOU NEVER DO. FUCKING DAMN IT, I DONT SCORN OVER TRIVIAL MATTERS. OH FUCK WHY AM I SO AFFECTED

Yuri ha aoku saite

2007-07-10T20:05:00.000+08:00

Tell me when will you be mine?
Tell me quando quando quando...

I think im quite the fool afterall.
Am i a joke?

No, take me seriously please.

Jo, You are totally bullying me. And i am affected

stop it you piece of shit NEH.

True friends leave footprints in your heart.

2007-07-02T22:10:00.000+08:00

A good friend of mine showed me a picture, showing a orange shoe and retarded shoes with the captions saying; "True friends leave foot prints in your heart". Sigh, she's such a sweet dick head at times LOL.

Just when i thought that i was LOSING WEIGHT, I GAINED WEIGHT eating icecream again! And its not just today! abcdefggggggggg wants to eat ice cream as though its a daily routine. Aiya nvm, we'll play more basketball , baseball, soccerball, ballball. LOL

So anyway, i went to eat ice cream with dick today. It was damn fun, and we had a lot of "bitching", And we couldn't find our photos but we did a lot of lame photos. Geraldine and i even took photos with the owner of MAC DONALDS! =>. I mean ronald itself, ya la the statue damn it. And seriously, when you go out with dick its so cool. Because dick is a dick, dick is not a dick because dick is a dick, thats why dick is a dick.

Anyway, we went to ugly world shortly after that. We saw many ugly things, and obviously i think we over dressed because ya la it was my idea to go office style. We look so formal sia, and 70% of the time dick was acting formal and making me like a fool LOL HAHAHAHA.

Then dick went home , and lived happily ever after. I had a very fun day, thanks!

To think about it, i wasn't really affected when i heard the news. Guessed i wasn't really that attached to her. Its a good thing , she was a good friend. However, she just cant seem to be able to communicate properly with me. Ya true, we can talk a lot but the bottom line is can we really "COMMUNICATE". I cant tell her my problems, she'll be busy all over when we're even on the phone.

I really want to be good in something. I really wanna do something well. I wanna excel in something. At least piano, =(.

Ever wondered why eye brows are brown?

Unpredictability

2007-07-02T00:37:00.000+08:00

LOL I FEEL SO BAD, SORRY POKSSSssssss

It's best to wait for the one you want than settle or one that's available.
Best to wait for the one you love than one who is around.

Best to wait for the right one because life is too short to waste on just
someone.

Your a dick.

I dont need a title

2007-06-29T23:10:00.000+08:00

Sometimes all we need is just someone to recognize you. Someone who recognizes your abilities, Someone who recognizes your character , Someone who recognize that it is you. Sometimes we all just want to feel appreciated, a little bit of gratefulness, a little bit of appreciation.

Maybe that's just me, For I..like to be appreciated. It feels good when someone said thank you to you, and that they really mean it. I find it so awesome, when you actually managed to help someone out of something. I find that, as a friend you had done your job and you should really be proud of it.

Its been a while i've last since blogged. There were many times when i attempted to blog, but only to fail at the sight of games; Addiction. I can't multi task, when something attractive, or interesting catches my eye. Immediately, my attention shifts there and then forgets about what I was doing and went ahead doing the unintended.

The truth is, there are really so much things to talk about. Like my outings and several heavy issues. Gah, i just need to start a habit.

I had a lot of fun recently, But i feel that some people needs to mind their own businesses. Come on, Dont you think its rude when you poke your classmate's nose(Businesses)? There is of course a limit to everything that may appear to be friendly.

Every morning i wake up feeling lousy about myself, I have no idea why. Why do i feel extremelely clueless about what should i do for the day. But what i do know is that, There is a void in me. A void...

Okay, up till this point i know the next thing im gonna talk about, is very random. However I gotta say this.. This..GUILT, this..FEELING. My GOODNESS , I THINK ISLAND CREAMERY IS REALLY NICE!. Come on, Im not a kid that loves licking ice cream or anything. But surely i am entitled to have something nice? A good friend of mine brought me to Island creamery along with another two of my friends. I had a really awesome time eating, as well as snatching for flavors between chocolate chip and NUTELLA. I also had a great time laughing, LOL. I mean, would you fall down and laugh? Very strange ... LOL. Okay, You guys might not know what im talking about. Thats completely alright, ^_^.

Oh, I even bought back a tub of Nutella because i think the box looks kawaii.

Oh, Michelle is back on track hopefully. I saw her the other day at the hospital. Warded in a small room along with a couple of kiddy patients. She was already monkeying around when she saw what i brought her, Jeremy. HAH.

A good friend of mine is having unexplainable and unimaginable and of course devastating problem. She refuses to tell me because she thinks im an asshole (oh well sighs LOL). But I pray, It'll get better for her. Not just temporary, But permanently. Get that hollow out =O or i'll pluck your eye browns. Its not easy to be you dick head, It'll get better if not fatty shoulders are here.

We are all a little weird and life's a little weird and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.

I dont need a title

2007-05-21T00:55:00.000+08:00

The same way I had told people about growing up, I'll tell the same to myself.

Being 16 doesn't only mean your one year closer to dying.
Being 16 doesn't only mean one year is added to my already old age -__-
Being 16 doesn't only mean being older.

Being 16 means a new begining.
Being 16 means a new life.
Being 16 means, Me being 16. =D

I had lots of fun today. I ate lots of ice cream in the afternoon with berry. And then my friends me ate 16 scoops of icecream(Ok not exactly, but at least 6 la) in the dinner buffet. I was pretty much forced to eat.

I never realized that i had friends caring for me all along.

Thanks pok,derrick,grass,ian,norman,ck,zy,mathias,shawn and blur.

Had great fun and great presents.

Thanks wan yee and vivien and mush .

Thanks pok for your smelly old socks.

Thanks dick for a book, I'll definitely read it.

And thanks stupid machine for letting me win a photo frame.

ccb

2007-05-03T23:19:00.000+08:00

Yes, You said it. Yes I heard you. You say it again, Yes I said I heard you.
CCB FUCKING SHUT UP CAN

Lots of things to say, Yet concealed within.

2007-04-26T19:11:00.000+08:00

Lots of things to say, Yet concealed within

I've once asked myself this question, Been probbed this question as well. But I'll still say, I cant like a idiot.

Actions are too much for me, Personality's too wild for me. Ya i admit, having someone like that beside you is quite a bit of fun. But, If i were to spend relationships with someone like that, I guessed there are a lot of other factors than just love itself.

All this years, I've been trying to find where Joleen is at. When I eventually found her, She just seemed so different. Disappoined.

Ma Ma pok just scolded me =(

>=(

2007-04-25T21:30:00.000+08:00

.LOR LOR LOR LOR LOR LOR.

I've got huge friends, Huge companies. I've got large casual friends, large casual companies. I've got small good friends, small good companies. I've got one best friend, One small company. I've got one mom, one small mom, small mom LOL.

What have I been doing, I am not really sure about it. But one thing im sure of, is that I am very behind of everything. Studies, Very much. I do not know a lot of things about many subjects, I am just wasting my time away. Damn it, my N levels are near.....*ALERT ALERT YOU ARE BEING SCANNED OH NOES!!@!*(@&!(@!@*. Shit, I was blogging and suddenly a white Pok attacked me from no where. Aiya I am becoming more and more random, i do not know why. I am probably influenced by queen pok =(.

I've builded some rapport with some teachers and probably disappointed them the latter. I cant believe what i do sometimes, Its just really so unmoral. Recently I found out that, I am really just so unmotivated for things. It is not the void. It is...I dont know. Everything I do, I'll give up half way. I feel so disappointed with myself sometimes, I really let myself down .

For once I really felt that Piano isn't something thats suited for the lazy, I am so darn lazy. I would want to learn a song, But i wouldn't practice it the correct way, instead the slack way. However still, I would want to complete Yuna's Determination soon, Lord God..I need help.

I know im not all that perfect, But at least I dont do these things. I feel that whether your a boy or a girl. If you have something to say to someone, You should do it the right way. And not inflict pain on his/her surroundings, Example: Friends.

If you've got something to hate about someone, You should say it straight. And not do despicable actions.

I just wanna say I've got a good mom who cooks for me everyday, and her name is mama pok. k bye blog HEE HEE HEE

2007-04-14T00:42:00.000+08:00

This few days, A bit rubbish. Days passed so quickly, and everyday someone will definitely whine to me SAD SIA. "IM SO LONELY" . Lessons seemed to be so relaxing, Perhaps its because overtime i would doze off frequently. I had been quite obsessed with not computer games (Ok similar). I had been obsessed with Text based game. I find them to be quite entertaining, Cos got a lot of diplomacy involved. Most importantly, you can find lots of politics issues inside.

Ya Its just like how you manage yourself, and your group of people. I think some people are just born to be dickheads, They can be so relaxed and assure you that everything would be fine. And the next moment they attack you, CB WINTER FROM alliance #81. Next time i ji tao _|_ HIM HAHAHAHA.

Anyway, This few I had been sleeping late around 1-2 a.m. Keep playing games, Sigh Am i beyond cure? Not really, I had been wondering a lot. You know white pok is a lamer, When she's unhappy with me. She wont tell me , she will hint me but removing the heart thats displayed next to my name in her blog. And when she's happpy, She would put the heart back. What a way of communicating right? Besides speaking of which, She's not replying me on sms because she fell asleep. So predictable sia. She said i always bully her, ARE YOU SURE A NOT LOL?????//////////. Im always a kind and rational person. k bull.

Yes, today my piano got tuned. I feel real. The experience of having to play a much clearer and much sounder piano makes the playing experience more enjoyable. It induces, EXCITEment. As I have my piano lessons today, I just found out something. I am one that is never really determined to do anything, If determined Its only for a while. I've always done everything well, but that's only for a short period of time. I feel that if i manage to be more determined, And much focused. I would definitely excel.

"Dear Son, you have to commit to excel on your N level subjects. I see a slack in this move after your recovery from sickness. You must find means to motivate yourself in order to achieve the good results. You must at least have a desire to start with to do so, Dad"

Ok tired already, White pokkier strikes again.

No when, no want, no worry.

2007-04-11T21:34:00.000+08:00

No when, no want, no worry.

Sometimes , We're often reminded so many times but we might not really understand them. Its like people telling you so many times that you had changed, But you still do not understand what has been changed. However, you'll only realize it when you REALLY DO UNDERSTAND.

I've took a look at a old picture of mine, At first it was just like any other ordinary tease. As I look at it further, different angles. I just realized that I had been totally lost. What have i been doing all this while, In the past. I was very happy, yes I enjoyed most of the time. I often frantically smile at the smallest things, I am easily happy. Whenever I was with my friends, I was so happy I've always felt contended. There was no void, no space, and no emptiness.

The period of time with Geraldine, I've learnt a lot of things. So much that I've changed into a completely different person. A phrase she said today to me that really strucked me open, and left me speechless. "See la, everyday dota dota dota" She meant it as a joke, But little did she know that I've wasted so much of my time. Changing, changing , changing, changing, and dota was just a little factor of it. I've changed so badly , so badly I couldn't even recognize myself. What on earth had I done with myself, I made myself so stressed up till my complexion went bad, I've made myself so upset with life that i wasn't happy for a long period of time.

I've experienced a different part of life, a part i've never wanted to experienced. As I frantically took a picture of Genesis, Geraldine and I. I've covered a part of my face, I cant believe I looked like a girl. Quite embarrassed , But that period of time was damn fun .

But at least I do know now, Ya maybe I can never be how i used to be emotionally. But on the physique side, I would want to be better. It does not only help me mentally, But also confidentally(Is there such a word O_O.

In the past , I was concerned with myself. Im not even concerned with myself now. There is this deep void, this deep sense of void. Play my interesting piano, Nah..It doesn't fill the void. Play my favourite game dota, Nah...It doesn't fill the void.. Friends.. Nah..Different feeling.

I'll find the solid to clear my void. Soon..

Nervousness

2007-03-17T12:07:00.000+08:00

For once in my life, I felt nervous over a game.

Thanks for all the supporters that had came and supported me throughout all the games so far.

I've sucessfully made it into the top 16 and i must say it was still manageable as the teams still had a wide standard differences from us.

I've been really exhausted this few days, Didn't had much sleep. Under an amount of stress, For this period of time, I've quarrelled with a very good friend of mine, Josephine. I guessed it looks like i've never had any good fate with females or whatsoever. But i do wished to be forgiven, Can you?

Today, would be one of the toughest games I've ever had as well as one of the most crucial games. Im up against Team ZYNERGY, In other words. They have ANT which is from Zenith. They were rated as Singapore's number 1 dota team in 2006. But, Im sure i'll win..Somehow .

Just to update.

2007-03-15T00:05:00.000+08:00

Just to update,

We've won HCI(Hwa CHong International Secondary School) with a overall kill score of 57-14.

I used viper, had a 15-2.

Damn.

Next match is 15th of march, 2-4pm. Same place Funan It Mall.Thanks for the blessings from my friends. and idiot

My competition

2007-03-12T10:23:00.000+08:00

Starting from today, 12th of March. I'll be having my Dota competition at Funan IT mall. Although, I had many competitions before. I cant help but say Im really nervous as Im representing my school. Well all the best to me.

2007-03-02T21:40:00.000+08:00

Basically, There are somethings i would definitely hope to achieve in my life, Or hope to have it done, or to happen.

Today, My brother got back his A level results. He had a A, and two Bs for his Major. As for the other subjects, He has As.

It really brings me back to think about what i had really achieve all this while. You could say, in a crude way that I am imcomporable to my brother.

But then again, There are still some things I would definitely wish for, Or achieve.

1, N Level.
This year is kind of like a crucial year for me, And I really hope that I could do well in it as I do wanna study, Myself.

2, Basketball.

My passion for it might be a 3minutes thing, But just the same right now. I would wanna keep that passion of mine going, As in this sport. I had found some great friends.

3, I wished for my best friend to stop hating me.
Often I asked myself, What was it that made the change that occur. But then again, I know everything happens for a reason. Thus , Im changing..Im not trying to be a saint, Not an angel. All im trying to be is a better human being. I wished for your presencen once again, My best friend, Where have you been? Was I too close for comfort? Was I Invading on your secrets? My best friend, Please be friends with me soon.

2007-02-19T15:25:00.000+08:00

Is it any wonder?

2007-02-17T13:34:00.000+08:00

I've wanted to make a post entry a long time ago. However, Due to certain reasons I often neglected my purposes. Thus, Not having blogged at all.
Right now, I have the time . I wished to be able to do something, Or rather write something...I've long wanted to...

Recently I have no idea why, But I had became the mediator between certain relationships. They quarelled, And I listened. The funny thing is, Both of them consulted me.

Two of my friends, attempted to break up. Its Ironic is'nt it "I want to break up with you."; 10 Minutes later. "Sorry Dear, I love you can we not break pls" . A huge lol over here, Look. DECIDE ON YOUR DECISION MAN LOL... No, It is'nt any lol issue. I've managed to told them certain things; Its so difficult to get into a relationship, let alone maintaining it.. When they seemed doubtful. I gave them a clear example of myself.. And they believed it, and hopefully they are fine now.
Afterall, Im a tool ain't it so?

Its really great, To have some presents on Valentine's day. All my life, I haven't received anything on Valentine's day. I've got a couple of candies, as well as a voodoo doll which i could write anyone's name on it and poke , just kidding.

I guessed as times goes by, It'll get better somehow.

But Its hard but to think...

Will it really get better afterall?

Obsessed

2007-02-10T22:55:00.000+08:00

I have no idea why, But recently I picked up a book of mine and started to read again. Suzuka.

The story is just so relateful, It really feels great while im reading it. I really would want to know what happens next.
And at times, I get self indulged and imagined myself being the character itself. Its just so great, Just the kind of communication to have with other people. The truth is, Talking on the phone? geez =\.
Ok fine, You could say Im believing too much in fairy tales but i dont have a choice, The situation inside the story seems to be the exact scenario of mine.

I guessed, I had been trying to be someone older and not just myself. I think too much, And too much thoughts. I visualize to much, and are often hurt from imagination than reality. Its time I start behaving like my age and be a pure boy.

If you were to see some people hanging out fliers, Friends of mine including myself would definitely laugh our ass off that why this people had to do this kind of pathetic job. But the truth is, This people are the ones we should really admire. Because they step out to do something, That's actually right.

What im trying to push here is this, I guessed all this while we all haven't been someone whom we really are. Sure, Laughing having fun might seemed really happy. But in the long run, No.

I guessed in time to come, I'll just to find myself an answer.

But right now, I just wanna enjoy that little sweet indulgence.

2007-02-09T21:09:00.000+08:00

Misunderstandings, Are all part of our lives.
Misunderstandings tear relationships.
Misunderstandings...
Misunderstandings...
Misunderstandings... Why me?

You've got me all wrong...

2007-01-27T23:59:00.000+08:00

Determination.

Its been a while, But I'll still have to. I remembered the sole purpose of this blog, was something. But now it might be something else.

Its honestly been awhile since i last saw my favourite teacher. Mrs Wong Soo Li, She was the kind of teacher that everyone(students) hates. She is the kind of teacher whom everyone disliked her lessons. She is the kind of teacher whom i liked and truthfully respected. Mrs Wong was a knowledgable teacher yet extremely strict teacher.

At first, Having taught by her was like a torment. Everything was very difficult, and forceful. But in time, as i builded a stronger rapport with her. I figured that her teachings were extremely knowledgable, and efficient.

I owe my Visual acuity, Reading comprehension, As well as verbal speaking to her. As i managed to see her today. I honestly, felt like crying. Its like someone whom you really respected and being lost and finally being found again.

Somehow, Mrs Wong has a connection with my current teacher Mrs Ong. Happiness was period LOL.

Sometimes in life , I find that in everything I do. I would disappoint someone.

My buddy told me this, That she had a dear friend that she attempted to help, but it was futile.
It honestly bring back to me the topic of my dear friend Derrick.

I vividly remembered those broad words he told me back then, I cover your ass and you cover mine.
As times goes by, many different things changes.

It really upsets me so much, When i look at him. Derrick had turned so upset, Physically and emotionally.

I dont get it, But Perhaps fate was toying on you. Miao would had been your great Girlfriend, I honestly felt not sympathy but a strong sense of pity for you.

I believed that when i told you that it'll get better, someday you'll find someone. Yeah, you did but it did'nt lasted long. But if you ever read this, Please i strongly urge you not to stop. The same words always apply; It'll only get better Derrick, Someday you'll find someone.

Sometimes I honestly do not know the female mind, Its quite difficult. A friend of mine then comforted me with the opposite words, "The female do not understand the male mind either". Cool, No wonder. pok pok pok pok pok

Sometimes I look at a certain individual I have no idea whether or not this individual is upset with me or angry with me. I truthfully do not know, If its teasing or really scolding. I have no idea as well. LOL, I guessed it brings back the well known phrase "Man are from mars, Woman from Venus."

Perhaps as times goes by, It might change. Maybe tommorow or maybe the next second. But I'll just have to say now that, I guessed..Im really happy.

Oh ya, As you can see I owed geraldine 15 lasagnes. That's a misconception, I actually owed her 30 Lasagnes Because she was busily hopping and made me used the shit word many times SHIT YOU MAN ok 31 LOL

2007-01-21T16:46:00.000+08:00

Fly fly fly fly fly, Im a twister LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL.

FINE LORH I UPDATE LORH.

This few days, I had been throwing shits around. I dont know why.

I have a question here, a tough one.

How often do you check your mails?

Im telling you, Its obviously a VERY DIFFICULT QUESTION. I dont know man lol, so funny man i dont know the answer.

But well, you could know the answer. If you ask GERALDINE HEEE HEEE HEEE.

Dota not fun one man, Its always me owning :( . I figured i bmed a few people, and they found me in my channel. We started a little argument, And i pwned them again =(.

Life's so difficult.

I have many friends having relationship problems, I understand that you need comfort and care but I seriously suggest that before you seek any help. Do stablelize your emotions first. I know, if you try to surpress your feelings it might just backfire. But its the only thing you should do currently your situation.
Yes i mean you Idiot jos.

Every single year, I've thought that special occasions dont really meant anything. I attempted to feel better about it, I guessed its not the event itself thats important. But its the companion you have thats important.

I have great friends, I have great emotions. But i need great guidance in order to live my life properly. Thus i seek my teacher Miss geraldine pok su rong. Ahem, Thats her Pen name. The correct name should be Eh Geraldine shit you la. Yes, She has first second third , fourth and fivth names .

Sigh, just as im typing this. Im getting bullied for my special spellings and punctuation errors. stupid pok pok . I cant help it, i have a lousy keyboard. That explains how i spelt, bvlog and many other words.

Sad to say, Im still losing around 1900+ ++ Rounds to Geraldine Pok. Its not fair :( I'll lose forever. HAHAHAHAHAHA. Oh damn, i cant believe im being insulted this much.

Ok, i'll stop laming. And end with a single sentence, Judge for yourselves suckers LOL

☆ geraldineee! xD/' says:
pls lorh
☆ geraldineee! xD/' says:
geraldine's a cute adorable angel. shining above everyonee.
-

2007-01-13T13:49:00.001+08:00

SAKURAAAAA SAKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE BO KUUUUUUUUUU KNNNNN BBB CCCCCBB.

Nope, Dont ask me why. That was what i heard from every starting of a japanese song. LOL.

Its been awhile since i blogged, Everything seems perfectly in order.

I had fun in school, Almost everday.

There's the Poking and TWISTING war.

And everyone seems to be doing it, Even the teachers(=D done by me).

I've went to camp, Everything was ever wonderful.

The first and the second day was great.

Sometimes, I dont even know what i did.

I GOT KNIFEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD =().

It brings back the topic, Sometimes i looked at my friends.

It seems to be only me having trouble, Im very irritating.

When i looked back at myself, Seriously Its really annoying.

The problem doesn't lies with my friends.

It lies with me. I cant help but envy friends having wonderful relationship. I was prompted by Derrick with this question. "So many chiobus, yet none belongs to derrick".

I guessed, its the other people who are able to posed themselves being confident. Yes, Was told girls likes confident guys.

Sorry lorh, I have very low self esteem . I no confidence also, So i only have buddies and good friends.

But i'll try to be a better person, In time to come. =
"Gold is tried by fire, brave men by adversity"

"Sometimes even to live is an act of courage."

"True happiness is... to enjoy the present, without anxious dependence upon the future."

"We are more often frightened than hurt; and we suffer more from imagination than from reality."

"Life, if well lived, is long enough."

Forgive me, Friends and buddy.

2007-01-04T21:35:00.000+08:00

I've tried and pray.

Yeah, I cant lose myself.

Its hard.

But i have to admit.

That during the process of enduring.

I no doubt.

Hate my parents.

2007-01-02T12:26:00.000+08:00

Friendster is so amusing. LOL.

I've seen people posting bulletins. And their replys were kinda weird, Here's one from my best friend.

"Have often do you check your mails?"
"YUP!"

LOL. Honestly, thats totally awesome.

And i've seen a question, i was trying to do a bulletin, they said.

"Have you been hugged".

LOL, Yu xi leh.

The only time i've been hugged, I've fondly remembered till now. And she was really a sister to me, my best buddy in primary school.

Amanda, I could still remember how often we played together. Talked cock together, She was a prefect. So often she would let me off, because i was always late. Hahaha, Thinking about this . Amanda was really an impact in my life. As i went back to school and met her, I guessed we could'nt helped but hugged.

I do miss her, But now my little sister's all grown up(Dont get the wrong idea, She's just really tiny not literally a little girl". And to see her adapted to such an environment, It really thrills me to see how we've had fun together in primary school, and how she's forwarded to such a degree.

I feel that its really cool when you think back to primary school. It seems to be the only pure period where friends really hang about, Until you reached secondary school where all sorts of nonsense starts up. Class politics, Relationships. Anything you could think of, It just happens.

But im glad, i have good friends, to cheer me up whenever im down. To pull me down whenever im high, Poks, Scissrs, Mushroom,Eyebrow, Rubbish, Darling.

Anyone dude, just wanna say.

Porky have such friends, Porky zhen de yao xie tien xie di.

2006-12-29T00:06:00.000+08:00

If you cannot really control it, and flared up for no apparent reason. You are weak. Whatever happened to realization? -_-

2006-12-26T18:03:00.000+08:00

2006-12-26T11:03:00.000+08:00

Have you guys recently noticed all the sad and heartbroken nicks of your friends or people on MSN?

Wanna know what it is?

THATS THE TREND!!

2006-12-25T21:31:00.000+08:00

HOW CUTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Back then...
EVery year of Christmas is just another ordinary day.
Every year of birthday is just another ordinary day.

All my life, i've never really seen the significance of this values.
Until this year, where some of my best friends showed me what it truely means, to have an event and how we should preserve the tradition. Thanks pok + scissy. Quite weird names for friends eh, Heh they like those names LOL.

Last friday , I went to Genesis party with Geraldine. When we arrived, And somehow there was a magic show going on at her apartment's swimming pool. The girls wont let me watch, they are quite mean people. Hey? I have deprived childhood, i've never watched any magic shows before. And, then we decided to go up Genesis's house to cook something(Believe me, i chilled and froze when i heard that. Can you imagine? LOL Just kidding dudes =P). Okay la, we went up and did lots of lame stunts. They scared me when i was trying to enter the room, Lamers. I mean, i admit i was scared la lol.

In the end, we decided not to cook because there weren't really anything except my meat, Ahem i meant pork :(.

We ordered mac donalds, and attemped to watch a dumb show which eventually failed. Genesis was messing up with the fast forward button, Sigh.

I cant believe we did lots of lame things, like throwing things around and laughing at people -_- and calling them idiots when we all know whose the real idiots! . Overall, i had a great party(Mini) Thanks buddies.

The following day, i was looking forward to geraldine's house warming party, I was looking forward to it, because her party are always so fun and LOLOLOL.

Im sorry because i could'nt attend it due to certain reasons =(.

---------------

I then went to Genesis concert with pok pok on christmas eve. I dont really know why, but im sure that i really had a feeling of Christmas this round time. It just feels so, wonderful and blessed to be alive to be part of this Christmas Event. When we arrived at the church, mind you. Someone was feeling dead, she slept at 5 and did'nt ate a single chocolate. CAN YOU IMAGINE. Thats like whoa , not eating for 10 days.

Anyway, we went to the church. It seems everybody was so warmth, and they all gave us a very generous welcome. I sort of feel the faith in their hearts =). Ya pok, church is cool ain't it so. Anyway, They danced and the childrens were extremely cute. The angel reminded me like the fat caterpillar from bugs life.
TOTALLY, cute .

I've loved every bits of it.
After that, Genesis mom treated us to a meal. I did'nt know what i ordered, and my menu was taken away. Okay la, Geraldine ordered pok chop for me, I mean i dont mind pok chop. But you know, its pok chop.
I received my presents, a total Pig Set. I've got pig's rubbish bin, pig's nose cushion(palm size), pig's light , pig's wrapper, AND EVEN PIG"S SWEET.

Yes, a pig event. oink oink oink oink , next time Santa claus would use oink instead of "Ho". So he'll be like, "OINK OINK OINK OINK MERRY CHRISTMAS, SO which pig presents would you want from Mr Santa this year?" LOL. I gave Geraldine her present as well as Genesis one. Yes its a pig for genesis, and a pet* for geraldine. LOL. Thanks Scissy and Geraldine! and not forggeting Auntie ^_^.

Then, i had another party at night. Its at my gramps, I had lots of food. Im gonna bake something i learnt that night, for you guys. hohoho, Prepare yourself for stomacheache Terror.

And i bet most of you had turkeys and ham, and Chestnuts, for Christmas dinner. I had only instant noodles :(

But hey? Im contended , i had a lovely day . Horoscopes are liars, they told me i would meet a special someone today, YES TODAY. It seems, that they were lying afterall. Because, i've found really many different versions of TODAY. Lol.

Yesterday i was having a TV programme marathon, I've watched this romantic film "Actually Love". There's this guy inside who looks really good. England's hot. A lady from the film said this "True love lasts forever" . Hohoho, i second to that.

And next, as i was planning to sleep. I realized there's another film called "The Family Man" . It was a great film, I guessed what really decides the future is'nt the things you achieve. But they are the choices you make.

Thats why I've been constantly reminding my Parents about how they should stay at home and watch Television programmes until 3am.

I've been always ever so emphasising on the theme friends. Sure enough, nothing is eternal. But im telling you, friends will be eternal with Gerri poks and scissy cut around =)

Happy birthday the friend you've always been in my heart, shielding me, and blessing me. Happy brthday Jesus.

Lastly i just want to say a phrase im kind of forced to say, but i'll say it anyway for the sake of my best buddy a.k.a Gerri poks.

"GERALDINE ROCKS MY WORLD LIKE CRAZY AND SHE'S SWEET, CUTE, CLEVER AND SUGAR SPICE AND EVERYTHING NICE. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA"

Yeah, i understand the praise. But the loads of laughter? I have no idea, you will have to ask her. It seems that she has been overdose on her poking candies again, Oh well. Merry Christmas.

Life has been great, Xmm's gone, all sorts of troubles gone. I was told to talked about my life, normally i would talk about it a lot because it had been bad. But it seems that the whining period has been over, Life has been Awesomely great. =) And thats all, because its this great. HOHOHOHOHO

EDIT:Was told to add something SIGH with my own help so let me see.

"Geraldine is a extremely kind person to people around her, And yes she is very fun to be with, You can always push her around like she's qian hui . But yes, She's idealized to a perfect person.
PS:She likes to pok"

2006-12-21T12:29:00.000+08:00

Persistance is futile.

From what I actually see, and been through.

I can fully able to differentiate between two different matters.

Its alright, im never able to understand any xmm.

Now i see why you did'nt really wanted to attract xmm while playing pool, Derrick.

They say every year's a different year. In the past, i've wondered how different it could be.
This year, is exceptionally different for me. Everything happened in a blink, It seems so long, but yet so fast. Contra eh?
I've particularly felt like having christmas a bit different this year.
I found out that, every year birthday's and such, weren't so much of a big issue. This year, some of my friends made me changed my view to actually treat it as something grand.

It seems that i've been taking lightly of many issues, Thus explains my lack of seriousness.
Its alright, a new year's coming right up.
But Christmas first LOL.

Yesterday i went out with Josephine. Its been awhile since we last met, The moment i've met her. I had been telling her the things i want to do, and want to be, Its great. We watched an awesome comedy, Note that it was a comedy. She said it was really scary, My goodness that she's really an idiot.

You know her mind is somewhat of a determined one, She wanted to buy some things at daxio at IMM which closes at ten. And we were at jurong point , it was 9.40 or so.

When we reached jurong east, i cant believe we ran. She's an idiot ahahahaha.

But hey? I enjoyed myself, Thanks Jos. And i received an message. IM FREE

2006-12-15T11:58:00.000+08:00

LORD, I CONFESS.

I ADMIT LYING TO MY PARENTS.

JUST PLEASE REMOVE THOSE TWIXTS.

Hi

2006-12-10T20:08:00.000+08:00

Thats funny. Guess what, Chen wei lien won the best new comer.

I heard from my mom, that the fans for chen wei lien was pretty crazy.

I would like to congratulate my mom as well for receving the star award for professional category. Its a pity she did'nt get posted for the newscaster one, Perhaps they say. In order for a better category, you have to step down the lower category :D.

I cant believe Chen wei lien won though, Hey? If we get people like Hyde to come to Singapore , Without singing we can actually issue him an Award already. Geez.

I've seen lots of people typing twixt again, not that its my problem. Its just affecting, Really it does.

I wonder why none of my friends does that, HEE HEE -_-.

Either way, My brother has went for National Service(NS). Its time to start taking care of the family, as well as help out every now and then.

Money sure is'nt easy to have, I used to think of the 50s and the 100s i spend without much thinking. Just then i noticed, It is really hard to earn money.

This year has been amazingly exciting, as well as sad and happy for me. It just means that when times are down, You've got your friends to cover your asses. No not literally :P.

I have great buddies like Geraldine, Derrick, Scissy, Idiot and some more.

Derrick covers my ass while i covers his, but recently time has been bad, He's pretty mad at me for pang sehing him, Although he took his revenge, His still mad at me -_-.

Scissy is none other than Genesis, who definitely cracks me up and listens to my burden.

Idiot is none other than josephine, Who says her idiots stuffs and keeps me happy every now and then.

While gelly poo is the one where i've always teased, Where i've always make fun of. Despite the thick skin questions i asks her at times, She never fails to smile. Aww what an idiot :P Yes sweet idiot.

With great friends like this, The next year would be a better one. And following year, Would be even a better one.

LOl

2006-12-09T11:44:00.000+08:00

Im kinda fascinated by the Theme Visual Kei. Its hard to believe that such a band "Nightmare" could be this cute, Hahahahahahahaaha.

LOL, Im nuts Totally.

2006-12-07T01:24:00.000+08:00

MY FRIENDSTER! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh

:(

2006-12-04T22:54:00.000+08:00

Sometimes favouritism pose as a certain threat. No, Actually. Its just irritating. Of course, if nothing were to be done towards me.

I would'nt had that sense of dispised feeling. WHAT? No obviously if i see you being treated better than me, i would'nt be that cranky. But if im being treated unfairly, Of course i would feel that tad of unfairness. I

Its just how the Human Emotions work. Heck, if i haven't had emotions i would'nt had give a shit. But then again, If i haven't had emotions i would'nt had be happy.

Gee. I gussed, its quite hard to understand people afterall.

Mataku...

I guessed..

Oh yeah. Normally, I dont really talk about this kind of stuffs. But honestly, Its getting on my nerves. Of course i'll appreciate if your doing it for my own good.
But to everything, There's always a restriction. Like, Good friends cant kiss each other. Good friends can't have sex. In comparison, Friends are just friends. Of course i appreciate it, If your helping me. But i gladly do appreciate if you would stay out of me, A little further. A distance is good. =)
In time to come, Perhaps things might change a little better. But right now, I just dont want things to change because you messed up my life. That's all. Messing up my life, Yes Indirectly.
I prefer to still have my good friends like geraldine, Genesis and people like that. I'll really want you not to place judgement on them.Really...

The other day i went to Geraldine's Birthday party. I was quite glad i got invited. Honestly, It was a great party and i believe everyone had fun except for the baby girl herself. I dont know why but even if she did'nt had fun, i guessed she was pretty happy in the end.

I met scissy in the morning. Im telling you, I did'nt know why but I sure was late. When i reached, I could'nt see anyone except just hearing someone kept calling my name. Then when i turned and looked, I SAW SCISSORS!

We then headed to NTUC, Im telling you . Normally in the morning, im extremely drowsy. But being with Scissy, It just makes me even sober every minute LOL. We kept on laughing and laughing at every single object that was there. We bought our stuffs and bought Gelly a lovely cake, Well yeah Scissy said it was lovely, so it was. -__-.

I guessed Scissy and I were both had deprived childhood syndromes, Why? Because we played like mad kids at the playground, and seriously It was fun I admit LOL.
Oh, And We were laughing at every object we could see. When we saw a lamppost, we said it was a sausage, and when we saw a box we said it was a tofu. Shit man =\ LOL.

We then made lasagne at Wai Ho's house, Wai ho's brother Lucas is so light. Im telling you, My younger brother at least weighs twice as much as he is LOL. Played a bit in the kitchen, Don's quite a genius in cooking. I believe anyone who was there would second to that =). No no, not because his name is called rice but because...Um...I dont know. Anyway let's skip that LOL.

We all arrived at Sentosa, as someone was angry and i know we were late. I saw liang koon, and Pravind and Gelly Beans. She was laughing at my hairstyle :( Its not nice =(.

Then we waited a while for the rest to come, And immediately it went raining. We then went Palawan beach. Im so excited, its been 2-3 years since i last came to a beach. Yup 2-3 years. So when the rain finally stopped, we began playing. I swear, I was like a kid hopping around. And getting throwned sand at, everyone was throwing sand at me. Then when i brought out my Umbrella. I thought war was over. I WAS WRONG, In the end i died LOL. And i got buried, and stepped on -_-. We sang birthday songs, and played a few games. Glad Gelly enjoyed the Lasagne. But she did'nt had fun, she was troubled Hmmmm . oh well =)

Finally we went dhouby ghaut by the cable car so fun man ! It was my first time sitting one. We then fooled around and finally settled at banquet Foodcourt. Scissy and i made a skit to cheer Gelly up LOL. Tofu and sausages hah Classic xD.

Some of us then went to vivo, My first time as well. Had fun, saw a few pets. Played some arcade. When i actually looked, Wow Geraldine had gotten quite a number of birthday presents. I envied but was extremely happy for her as well.

We finally cabbed back at toh tuck road together , Jia jia Gelly and i. Then i finally took out my lousy n00b disk present out to give her. Lol, i actually did'nt wanted to give her. Because i saw the number of gifts she had received and all looked so expensive. When i thought of mine, All i did was just a week and some efforts that's all. I mean, I did'nt really know Video making. But at least i tried LOL.

And there I had my Wonderful and best Birthday party. Thank you Gelly.

Oh ya, one last thing. Geraldine has a extremely dark humour LOL

2006-12-04T01:48:00.000+08:00

How about a nice cup of? :D

Yeah.. I just remembered what i wanted to type. The funny thing is i kept turning on and off my brain, there's lots of write about but just that i forggoten. There's a lot more, but im just gonna keep it like that first.

From where i see the friends of my workplace, i figured. They are of a different world than me. Simply stated, to be crude. A bunch of twixies(Your favourite type of people, Geraldine LOL). But, as much as how fun they were, Iris camilia. LOL, =\ I guessed its just that being friends is enough.

Yah. Nice one. I believe u. With money = success? n1 sir

2006-12-02T00:42:00.000+08:00

Open your heart.

That's right, Birthday's over. There's always christmas.
Perhaps its time to talk about my work place.

I guessed to each individual there's a different kind of judgement you placed on the other people.

I have great friends at work, people like Camilia, Zi yu, Nisa, Nora and Iris.

Camilia's the bitch who always calls me gay, Noticed how im often being called one? LOL

Zi yu's the girl who always played with me and often forced me to treat her a meal.

Nisa's the malay chic whom i always tease, because she's just so darn easily affected LOL.

Nora's the Host whom i've always, i mean always laughed together with.

Iris is my best buddy at work, she's the girl with her uniform often tucked out, and always making fun of me by calling me damien. Whom they said i had a lot of resemblance to. Touche 'd .

Often, No matter where we are. I guessed, what we all really need are just friends. They backed you up in any sitiuation.

Yup, i guessed. Perhaps just so that i had lesser friends to back me up, or just that im an outsider to the group. Its alright, in time we'll see.

Ikin's the bloody bitch cashier whom i had a grudge on, You can say. Its the same hate that geraldine has for esther. Yup, Ikin's face is one heck of a Esther. That's right, you know what i mean LOL.

It brings me back to the topic why this had been here from the start, Oh well.

Someone once asked me this, "Yu Xi, What is the thing that makes you want to wake up in the morning". I thought about it, the first vision that came upon, i'll skipped that. Then the second vision that came upon, Yup. I believe that, Perhaps today when i wake up. It 'll be a better day than the day before.

I believe that the word hard comes from the mind. I guessed, It just links back to "If you think its fun, It is fun."

2006-11-13T01:39:00.000+08:00

Tell me guys, what is wrong with this picture?

The truth is, SOMETHING IS AWFULLY WRONG!

Quite th Touche'D

2006-11-10T02:29:00.000+08:00

Touche'D

The passengers on the bus watched sympathetically as the attractive young woman with the white cane made her way carefully up the steps.
She paid the driver and, using her hands to feel the location of the seats,walked down the aisle and found the seat he'd told her was empty.
Then she settled in, placed her briefcase on her lap and rested her cane against her leg. It had been a year since Susan, 34, became blind. Due to a medical misdiagnosis she had been rendered sightless, and she was suddenly thrown into a world of darkness, anger, fustration and self-pity. And all she had to cling to was her husband, Mark. Mark was an Air Force officer and he loved Susan with all his heart.

When she first lost her sight, he watched her sink into despair and was determined to help his wife gain the strength and confidence she needed to become independent again.Finally, Susan felt
ready to return to her job, but how would she get there? She used to take the bus, but was now too
frightened to get around the city by herself.
Mark volunteered to drive her to work each day, eventhough they worked at opposite ends of the city. At first, this comforted Susan, and fulfilled Mark's need to protect his sightless wife who was so insecure about performing the slightest task.

Soon, however, Mark realized the arrangement wasn't working. Susan is going to have to start taking the bus again, he admitted to himself.
But she was still so fragile, so angry - how would she react? Just as he predicted, Susan was horrified at the idea of taking the bus again.

"I'm blind!", she responded bitterly. "How am I
supposed to know where I am going? I feel like you're abandoning me."

Mark's heart broke to hear these words, but he knew what had to be done. He promised Susan that each morning and evening he would ride the bus with her, for as long as it took, until she got
the hang of it. And that is exactly what happpened. For two solid weeks, Mark, military uniform and all, accompanied Susan to and from work each day. He taught her how to rely on her other senses, specifically her hearing, to
determine where she was and how to adapt to her new environment. He helped her befriend the bus
drivers who could watch out for her, and save her a seat. Finally, Susan decided that she was ready to try the trip on her own.

Monday morning arrived, and before she left, she
threw her arms around Mark, her temporary bus-riding companion, her husband, and her best
friend. Her eyes filled with tears of gratitude for his loyalty, his patience, and his love. She said good-bye, and for the first time, they went their separate ways.

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday... Each day on her own went perfectly, and Susan had never felt better. She was doing it! She was going to work all by herself.

On one Friday morning, Susan took the bus to work as usual. As she was paying the fare to exit the bus, the driver said,"Boy, I sure do envy you." Susan wasn't sure if the driver was speaking to her or not. After all,who on earth would ever envy a blind woman who had struggled just to find the courage to live for the past year? Curious, she asked the driver,
"Why do you say that you envy me?" The driver responded, "It must feel good to be taken care
of and protected like you are."

Susan had no idea what the driver was talking about, and again asked, "What do you mean?"
The driver answered, "You know, every morning for the past month, a fine-looking gentleman in a military uniform has been standing across the corner watching you as you get off the bus. He
makes sure you cross the street safely and he watches until you enter your office building.
Then he blows you a kiss, gives you a little salute and walks away. You are one lucky lady."

Tears of happiness poured down Susan's cheeks.
For although she couldn't physically see him, she had always felt Mark's presence. She was lucky, so lucky, for he had given her a gift more powerful than sight, a gift she didn't need to see to believe - the gift of love that can bring light where there is darkness.

2006-11-05T22:13:00.000+08:00

Its been quite a while since i've blogged. Just like Ville Valo(Yes im still at it). Blessings to you darlings out there ^_^ who perhaps once in awhile visit here.

Yes, I dont really feel like blogging back then. But now i did, No no no it is'nt the inspiration. I'll just call it the mood.

Well im fine now! So lets just start out by talking about the competition of GXL so far.
The first round of GXL for team [N](Russyboh, Clement, Wen bin, Ehren, Rikki, Shawn[sub]).
We won one and lost one. Its kinda disheartening, I dont have any idea why i played this badly. I did'nt play to my fullest potential. Especially today's match, I had vanguard till level 19? Hey no kid man, But thats F-up. Hahahahaha, Well im sure i'll play better. Its alright, i must be optimist.
But i just can't believe we lost to some random team Eg. TEAM STFU(Sio the floor united -_-).

Oh , and i got a job too. At Jurong Point's Pizza Hut. So if anyone wants some bad service you could always come here. Im ready hahahaha.

And, What's it with some of the people here. Their genre of dressing is so matured, Alright not that it makes me feel lousy(It does) but it just doesen't seemed right. A good choice of people at my age who are able, or suitable to dress maturely. ME. jk.

Im selected for as the emcee for the prom night, it seems to me that from now. Im gonna be really busy eh? Well quite the lot.

There's something i dont know about me recently, i've been feeling extremely vexed. And my fuse is extremely short -_-. LOL, Alright nvm. And i really wanna slim down, why? I wanna slim down not because i wanna look good. But i slim down was because i wanna be like Ville Valo LOL -_-

?

2006-10-24T00:44:00.000+08:00

Sometimes all you need is just a picture to describe how you are. LOL, With much surprised to how this may become. Oh dear. With credits to Jeff thomas.

Wahahaha

2006-10-21T15:33:00.000+08:00

Hello Strangers. Im blogging again. I guessed there's nothing else to do. Except to summarize what happened. Just like him, I only blog when something's wrong. So preferbly if the strangers out there ventured here, Its not a happy place. JUST KIDDING LOL.

Interest. Is a dangerous thing. It makes the mind change easily. Piano, for example is a thing that's highly associated with Interest itself. If you lose interest, that's the end. But of course, You can always find them back. Just like studying, Piano is something that requires discipline as well, And of course; Motivation. I have lots of motivation, I'll always view the YouTube videos of people playing Final Fantasy Music, I get highly motivated. But If your talking about interest. Im a taurus, My Interest Changes easily. Right now, If I were to count. Im managing a total of 11 pieces, Why? I just can't stop at a single piece, Because due to the highly motivational videos from youtube, I wanna learn the ones that i've seen. Which then explains why i suck a lot.

One thing about piano, I've regretted is. I've never really used my heart to learn piano till the stage when my piano teacher Miss Oon was leaving. It was'nt a happy thing. It was rather sad. True enough, 3 years might not be that long. Still, there's a bond between us. I've missed her a lot, She won't be coming back. I have only myself to blame, for not learning properly. Afterall, Im wasting my money back then as well. Piano is a heavy investment, If your talking about the real Piano ; Yamaha, Pisaco. etc. It costs around 3k to 5k for a normal one, Im not talking about the electronic piano. And the lessons, a 100-200 for 4 lessons?. That's quite an investment i must say.

Its fine though, I've decided to really learn it well and someday, If i see Miss Oon again. I'll make her really happy for once :)

Many things did happened. Till the extend that I did'nt know how to react, Except to pretend nothing has happened. It was painful and confuse as well. But the funny thing is, Its really unpredictable .

I've seen a lot of happenings regarding parents recently. How a child's character is depended on the parents. So honestly speaking, the things im gonna say. Applies to each individual.
I've seen people at 15 saying that they get no freedom, Their parents holding them tightly, As stated from the "victim" ; Over Concern.

I have a friend who grew up without parents and managed to work on his own. He's the kind of person, who really yearns for some care, But he just can't have it. Listen up guys, Call me ignorant or what. But as much as your parents may seemed to be, They are always being an "Irritant" for a purpose. They are trying to educate you. What? You mean, they are trying to irritate you purposedly? Oh dude, The reason why your parents treat you like a Treasure was because of that DAMN 9 months you spent inside the female's womb, and the process of it.

But that's not my point, My point is. As much as how they can be, they are always doing it for our own good. And you guys, Know it too. Don't you?

7 days In knowing you. 7 days left. Its alright now; Dont cry.

Do i really need a title?

2006-10-15T20:48:00.000+08:00

Is it really necessary to do this anymore? After all, I blogged for you to see thats all.
Its alright, Dont cry now.

Back to Ville Valo eh? No I dont feel it anymore. Who was i trying to be all this while? Derrick? Perhaps, Eventually I was'nt trying to be anybody. I was trying to be nobody.
In time, I've lost my own. Its impossible to find it back.
I've been often reminded to be careful with words on my blog as It sounded extremely scary. I just let myself out that's out, Nothing scary.

During the exam period, I struggled a lot. I've even helped my friend picked up chinese. A friend of mine then ask me why. To me, If i could just do anything just to talk to her, I'll be happy. Period. I dont mind even getting scolded, Because at least we're at least communicating. Am happy to teach, Best periods of my time.
I found that i slacked a lot in my English , I did'nt studied (Technically there is'nt anything to study about either).
As for my maths, Hopefully I'll get a pass. In a way, my Dad mocked at me. You from sec 1 fail until now, Even if fail again also nevermind. You have nothing to lose, Just do your best. And so I did, I appreciated the times my Dad took the effort to actually revise with me, So a usual Kthxbye :D (Im truely a asshole LOL)

Social Studies? Brings to the topic about miss wu, I've liked this teacher a lot. And she treats me quite well, Period. Recently, she's been rather different towards me. N00b cake, Well so i did studied for social studies, Not that much of a effort anyway.

For the others, I'll say just dnt, At least i aim for a pass.
Perhaps, Derrick I could'nt be up to what i claimed to be. You were truely a example for me to learn, Thanks.
I'll work hard.

Exams are over. Its supposed to be awesome, But why? Fine i wont be selfish and say why is all this things happening to me. As perhaps someone would had gotten his hp confiscated and wasted a bloody heck of time having it back, As well as having his wallet pick pocketted the next day. Yeah.

In time, Things will go my way.
Although things are quiet, Im sad that we're not communicating at all. Because im always so lala? Quite the thing you'll say lol. =\. As such, Im here as always.

I think im gonna go join gxl again =\.

One Thing.
OMG I HATE TWIX. DIE ASSHOLES . Dont give me the usual EUU SHOO MEANNIE WORXXZXXXZ OMG

lol

2006-10-12T00:39:00.000+08:00

...?Perhaps...?
...?In a better time...?
...?Maybe...?
...?Well Its unpredictable...?
...?Music knits...?
...?And...?
...?The whole cycle...?
...?Repeats...?
...?I wish you a million smiles.
...?I hope you a better time.
...?I pray you a better life.
...?Moments...?
...?GONE!

.-_-

2006-09-30T16:50:00.000+08:00

For once in my life. Im gonna hate gaming. It makes me pirioritize myself badly. And placed the most important person in my life before it. Great. Mr rikki gosu's gonna take a break bye noobs.

Recently, noticed i've started most of my entries with a "RECENTLY". And RECENTLY(^_^), I meant this few days. Im happy. The whole cycle repeats itself again, Whoa Lol. Im just at the Better side of the cycle right now, i just hopes it doesen't go to the bad side, But its alright i know i'll turn back to the good one in no time(I hope).

Upside down. For the first time in my life, im gonna relate how im feeling to a corny song. Upside down LOL HAHAHAHA no offence to corny song listeners. Everyday as i came home, I had to open those red covers and start banging my fingers. Otherwise i wont feel good about it, Piano has became an addiction.

Happy? Yeah, this happy thing has overcome my parents, meaning it owned them. I am happy. This whole week is well spent, except for yesterday the gaming thing, Sorry i should had..
Yesterday was the chinese mooncake festival, probably my first one at ctss or rather at an OFFICIAL EVENT. Here's the ass part, I was with the junkies group. We had to leave the lanshop because i was getting impatient, and we sat on the busstop as directed from CHEEKONG. 30 minutes has past, when i then noticed how stupid WE were. WE WAITED 30 MINUTES ON A BUSSTOP WITHOUT THE BUS THAT WE NEEDED OH MAN! HOW STUPID WAS THAT. We then took cab down to ctss. Those assholes, dili deli. Wahahaha. When we arrived, it was a large group. We all assembled, And they went to see some "Ghost" in the fourth floor toilet, where i went to find geraldine. Its a pity , even after the performance i could'nt see how she looked like HAHAHAHA.

As the boys came down from the fourth floor toilet, they weren't looking as hyped up when they went up. Especially Normand, he was looking pale. So i poked him , and he appears to be SOLEMN HAHAHAHAHAH WOOOOO. Luckily i was'nt there. No, i dont like this kind of things, i eat sea hums everyday really LOL.

We waited quite long for the chinese dancers, that's what we are there for anyway. Somehow, I thought that we were too hyped up especially me. But dudette, We're Sorry LOL. We're too Excited(Fine Just me) for your performance.
Eventually it ended, And I had this urge to play the lantern. Afterall i had a deprived childhood, And its kinda cool to actually touch a lantern. LOL WE WERE ACTING LIKE SHIT ASSES. WE WERE RUNNING AROUND WACKING EACH OTHER WITH LANTERNS, AND BLOWING THEIR LIGHT OFF!. It was an awesome night, Especially for myself :). Oh and i saw melissa and AUNTIE HAHAHA. Yes, i could had written more, but i have to submit this in 1 minutes time. Im already 5 minutes later than submission. SORRY BOSS! I"LL DO A BETTER JOB NEXT TIME LOL HAHAHA -_-

Somehow my boss asked me to rewrite my composition, she said it was too sucky. Dont misunderstand, She's a great person :).

I wanted to actually say that, Somehow derrick you had a point. We made simplicity complicated, perhaps i can't really advice you that much. Because afterall, im just trying to fit myself in your shoes and try to understand you better , it backfired.

Awwww Lots of things happening, Its kinda funny to see dude how friends work sometimes. Being so calculative and over dominating is an Extremely unhealthy relationship. And, like i said before. Seriously do you really think you can become psychics when you become good friends?

Lots of breaking ups happening around, As extracted from an important friend of mine. She said, All the HAZEL's clone, hazel number 2 and number 3. I still feel that 1 is better though. And i noticed that somehow, i enjoy playing neopets a lot.
If you actually see carefully in my blog, you'll notice that. How i blog is like How i tuitioned geraldine. I'll give you a sentence of seriousness and in an instance i'll crap 10 sentences of bullshits HAHAHA.

Shit, i suddenly lost my mind and cant connect myself. Can someone plug it back please, Damn those kids, always tripping over my wire(JK).
We're having class politics.

They always say :Leave the best for the last

Its not a problem at all Geraldine, Im always here. Thanks for letting me to help you dudette. It is an honour to help you, bestie (And Geraldine, i know you wanted me to write this right HAHAHA)

2006-09-24T14:14:00.000+08:00

THE PICTURE SAVES THE DAY!

SMILEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

save me

2006-09-23T14:55:00.000+08:00

How can i express myself to myself. How can i know myself. No I dont know myself. Something is awfully wrong with me, I know there is but i just dont know what it is. I feel uncomfortable all the time, after...I dont know as well. I lacked motivation in everything, When i actually tried interacting, it backfired. When i picked my hero in dota, i pressed alt qq instantly. Why? I dont know, i just have an urge to do so. No, not to taunt but to make myself feel better? No it did'nt helped, i felt worse. I have friends who wants to understand me, yet i dont feel comfortable talking to them. I know I have a lot of things to say, but on the other hand I dont know what to say. You see, my life is full of contradictions.
I dont like going out with my parents this few days, because i feel that they are constantly picking on me. No, actually its not feel, THEY ARE picking on me. Serena was right, i have awesomely serious mood swings. And its starting again, You know about PMS? I dont know how it feels, but i know it would be uncomfortable. Lets just say im having a guy's period.
I envied my friends, for them to be together. I feel sucky, i feel like a fucker. Honestly i doubt myself sometimes. I think its overly depressed, Over? I dont know as well.
When Derrick told me about something that happened in his life, I was happy for him but strangely I envied him as well.
Fuck it i dont know what's going on, My heart and my brain are corresponding seriously well , My heart feels uncomfortable then it tells my brain not to tell me why ? Hey fuck you both or i'll seriously sucide with you two.
No, I cant comfort myself. Nothing is helping, Hmm except..

2006-09-21T19:50:00.000+08:00

As i typed www.blogger.blogspot.com. I dont know why, but it just keeps getting me to a page with a BLOGGER NOT FOUND URL. Damned, later did i found out the real url and that made me felt dumb -_-.
Finally I figured that as I eventually TOUCHED my computer. Hey? Why not update for awhile. Recently, I had been touching my piano a lot. I thought that perhaps maybe next time I might wanna be a piano teacher, why not? Im getting all the inspiration I need to actually practice. Im so glad, But i have friends who mock at me. "Where you going after school?" "Piano." "Nah bei la, piano again, piano piano piano buay sian ah" =\.
Speaking of jobs, recently Derrick told me something he's INTO currently. Something about Multi-level Marketing, As i read google's report about such a scheme, prymaid scheme etc. At first I thought that it might be a scam, or maybe some dirty work. As much as the doubts I had, I still believe Derrick's judgement, He told me that even in the real world. He pwns -_-, If its a scam, he'll be the scammer who scams the scam. LOL(Im rather intrested in it though, I cant wait) . Oh, and he promised to get me my shoes when he actually made some coins, I can't wait. Perhaps, for that reason. Im willing to support him, LOL Just kidding la brother I'll support you fullheartedly =P.

Its funny to see how a person can change so much, But what exactly triggered his change is unknown. A teenager's mystery.
Perhaps its time to start relying on myself , I've been still alright thanks to Derrick and Josephine. Their calls, their advices. It works out a lot for me, Sometimes I wonders about a lot of things as well . Im a thinker, I could just sit and stare and think but eventually I wont think about any ways to help myself. I guessed its all in the mind, No more mediums just agony.
The truth is that i've been acting as a mediator for friends, Acting as a counsellor, How i wished someone would just take my position and do the same for me. I guessed eventually, In order to really study I'll have to throw everything aside.

LOL, =\ =_-. ? w , man . h a h a ha ha

For once in my life

2006-09-13T18:57:00.000+08:00

For once in my life, I really wanna blog this time LOL. All this while, if you noticed clearly in my blog. I had been ranting, I had been BITCHING. Hey? I often talked about my life being tough, and me trying hard and all. The truth is, Im not trying hard at all. Im actually whining. Its a fact I've relocated my mind today.

Its kinda funny how i think back on what happened today. The teachers are stressing me, I fear my parents why? Because i respected them, because i feel that they are working hard for me and i can't let them down. Honestly i knew that hey? If i carry on like this i would bound to make them upset or disappointed, Somehow i knew the ending But its just that perhaps im not wanting to accept it thats all. Its the kind of feeling you know LOL. As I packed my stuffs and go, not forgetting that my phone was confiscated. I was feeling kinda damned as well, like Im IN TORMENT LOL And i still have to force to be happy. No fair LOL. Shit im actually talking like im joking, I mean really i am (Im laughing as i typed this) But no, hey its actually something serious. I cant believed so many people was laughing at me as i was leaving the classroom. Lol, to think back it was kinda funny -_-. But hey, All that emotions and stressed build up at that moment was triggered with a knock over someone familiar. Lester? LOL, Hey if you really wanna try why not? You said you walked in a straight line, while i said i walked in a straight line as well. So who's fault? But that thing, triggered me. Im freaking emo, Emo = overly-emotional. I cried over some minal things -_-. Great i just knew it, its my FAMILY GINS. Everyone in my family is like that dude LOL.

Some say that they need time to overcome everything, IMO, i feel that its bullshit LOL. Its all in the mind man, as i was walking back i felt dead totally. And as soon as i reached the computer I've viewed some stuffs AND POOF IM BACK AGAIN LOL. Hey dont you dare say im cold blooded okay LOL.

I had lots of things to talk about , Firstly my dad LOL.
Honestly , i respect my parents a lot and that they work hard i know it. But sometimes the words they say contradicts themselves. Hey, i wont explain the details but my dad is obviously bias. But who cares, Im not affected-_-, im lying .
I need my RESULTS!
You know i have some friends who actually told me their problem, Why am i giving everyone the impression that im gonna be a councellor when i grow up? -_- NO. Yeah, they were telling me about their relationships and all and their right one. So im just gonna say it in all whole one Phrase^_^.

For all the reason in the world.
Some people say there's no reason,
Some say there is.

But ending up the honeymoon stage of love, Couples look at each other for their needs, Their believes. But what's really going on about love, no one really knows much about it. Perceptions and predictions.

We humans are always doing that.

Falling in love is so easy.

Looking at it, it was darn well a way to relieve stress =) but the only thing in love is, are you making a effort to keep loving each other ? Many people just take love for granted but its just there. No effort put in, just a simple excuse and their off.

Many people are searching for the right one. but the truth be told,
Anyone can be the right one.
Its just how you treasure him/her.

Here's a question for you all people (Directed at Jessica and JOS and all people)
If you really treasured him/her, and in the end she leaves you.
Will you blame yourself? Or will you feel dishearten and never to love again?

Dudes, Never feel dishearten, knowing you've give all you've got in a relationship leaves you room for little regrets..

No this ain't romeo and juliet, But lets just say for me that is, Falling in love is'nt just for a reason or 2. But its about caring and making both parties happy with a little compromise and understanding, of course with some time with each other making sure each other knows the way each other feels.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
That was the positive side i mean personally LOL actually all also good lar, just listen man.
If you fall out of love, read this dude (Directed at Mathias)

Falling out of love is somethings many people dread. Reasons wise, there are many too, but people will just give a shake and just say its bullshit . Never the last falling out of love sometimes it painful.

But you can never forget, the pain.
Memories will always stay within your mind so are you going to look at it as a painful reminder or something as a past you must learn from?

Many people told me, why they fall out of love.
Few reasons : He/She doesn't love me anymore
I don like the way she's/he's doing things*
He/She is not my type I don't think I love him/her anymore.
* use your imagination people =)
Some reasons are always crappy, but lets face it people.

When you fall out of love, someone always hurts. no matter the reason given. The reason there is just to forgive one's self. Or a reason to break away from commitment. For some they feel they never really love the guy/girl Simply put as they are just testing. People get hurt in these course of action along the way. Not enough commitment, not enough this not enough that.

Here's something i always see , Although im saying this Im actually contradicting myself BUT HEY LOL FORGET THAT DICK -_-.

Couples are hurt by each other actions, and they don't tell one another, And yet they expect each other to understand ? What are you psychic ? You mean you become psyhic when you are lovers ?

Well sometimes, people tend to know what the other half wants, but not everytime. No one's perfect So i rather say most couples I know never let each other understand their feelings and expect the other half to come over and understand them. Still the fact remains, When someone falls out of love, there's always pain. No escaping.

And here Yuxi DICKHEAD Yuxi i want to remind you heres something for you Chay Yu Xi. No i dont mean er THE GERALDINE chay yu xi but the real me. Myself

Everyone's got a past, its just whether you can learn from it or still let it torment you. Sometimes we look at other people laughing so carefreely, We can get jealous and envy them, of the past they do not have or fear. Truth is, they chose not to let the past torment them and they chose to be free, free of the contraption. Your memory is just a link to the past. And yet even as i see this typed out Im still saying ahhh this LOL.

As i noticed here, there are actually friends who are there for me, people like MOUSTAGE yes stage, Noobcake,ojo, (This two are actually one LOL) Michelle, Wai ho? Hey? Maybe even liang koon. Especially Derrick, As he sees me in such a stressing mood. He still never fails to make me smile with laughter thank you DEAR LOL.
My knuckles hurts with agony,

Anyone who saw me today, except for shaneni she saw the whole thing. Yeah, Im fine i was just TOO STRESSED up by the teachers and my parents. But im fine now, Last i just got reminded. As derrick was telling this to me, WHOA LOL HE WAS AT A CHALET. AND HE WAS NAMED A KING OF CUTIE AND A PRINCE! LOL WOOO -_- Thank me dude

Yuxi be back as normal in school TOMMOROW WOO -_-

Im back

2006-09-11T19:03:00.000+08:00

Some say school is our second home, I somehow believed it. During the holidays, i slacked a lot and eventually i feel that school's the only thing to cure that, it somehow worked. Thank you school.

HI WORLD, its been awhile since i last blogged i mean just a few days but Yeah. Since im told that my blog looks like an adult made one, meaning Over matured for my age. Hey? LOL I'll TALK LIKE THIS. IN CAPS WOOHOOO. HEY I HAD MY DAY SO COOL MAN YEAH . No, that wont work...

I figured, that i had to tagged this. LOL, I still can't believe i was fooled. TOTALLY, yesterday. Im being twirled around, twirling and twirling around. As i was online, I suddenly heard geraldine and genesis telling me that their are both ignoring each other, Which also means they are quarrelling. It was like, "YUXI, GENESIS IS IGNORING ME". "YUXI GERALDINE IS IGNORING ME". Eh, I wonders what the conspiracy behind this. Then i called them and asked, and i thought to myself hey it sounded real. I did laughed at them at their attempt to fool me. But it then sounded real, and i tried to Let them relax themselves first. I did lots of stupid stuffs, said lots of them "Hey, eh dont quarrel man, your all great friends before. Small things is still talkable, later make until big thing then cham man".
It then turns out, "Hey yuxi we have something to tell you, GEN HIGH 5." -____-. Immediately I felt embarassed, hey i've been fooled. Like whoa? Rikki You got fooled. But damned i did asked once whether i was on candid tv or not, obviously they lied LOL.
Oh well.^_^

And later that night we posed as each other(Which might means the discorruption in the msn now, HEH STOLEN IDENTITY)First it was Geraldine as Genesis, And Me as Geraldine. And finally Genesis as Yuxi. I figured that it was darn fun to not only copy the nicks, then names, the words. BUT ALSO THE VOICE WOOO. So ^_^. I dont know why, but i did try my best to copy geraldine, till the extend that she said she'll slap me if i continued any further >.> LOL They were laughing their ass out Darn. Hey? It was kinda embarassing as well, to actually see myself being acted out. I really do need to learn to be civil eh? But hey? I think i can really get used to this LOL. Then we decided to acted out in school.

And so we did, but darn geraldine sat far away from genesis and me otherwise it'll be so fun. It was fun nevertheless. I had hazel called me genesis, and when she does that. HEHEHEH I DOES THE ACTION GEN LOVES THE MOST.School reopened, and i had fun REALLY. All is going fine as usual today, I had lots of fun and lots of laughter. However, Everything is going too fine. I dont see the tension anywhere seriously, Not like people from 3b2. They are so hardworking. Sometimes i wished to be the one studying other than the one playing. I guessed its a new begining for me. I heard somethings new as i went back to school. It was good to see people at my age being similar with me, at least i know that im not weird now LOL. But hey? Its kinda cool dude. But today, i just wanna say this. Its been God knows how long since i talked to shawn. And i did today, Although just a few words, Its fine, happy enough for me. Heck, i dont even know why we quarrelled in the first place, or did we even? Its like, everytime we go to lan, we wont be on the same team, I mean skills based its fair. But hey? I do wanna play with him sometime, its kinda cool. And btw, Geraldine sounded exactly like me -_-, Its embarassing to see another yuxi screaming dickheads all the time LOL. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. So thats for today i guessed. NO NO NO NO WAIt, I know ! TODAY I PLAYED BASKETBALL, hey i kinda enjoyed it. Darn, Now i had to choose between piano and basketball! ITS DAMNED. And i just hoped geraldine would see my phone , because theres something funny LOL. WOOO -___- Bye dickheads

Meeky kid exploration

2006-09-06T20:24:00.000+08:00

Some conversation i had today. What i typed is direct quotes from the conversation so you can see how funny a person can spell

Iamgay:Hey
rikki:Yes?, Your still trying to disturb me?
Iamgay:no, i am soz 4 yesterday.
Iamgay:R u there?
rikki:So what am i supposed to say
Iamgay:Say sorry back. (At this point i was laughing my dick off man)
rikki:Fuck you?
Iamgay:I guess
Iamgay:Get real
Iamgay:i have coped all the things you have said you no
rikki:ER
rikki: haha?
Iamgay: So dont get rude
rikki: Dude your such a mofo
rikki: Im trying to get such rest here you DICKHEAD
Iamgay:well SORRY
Iamgay: laxybum
Iamgay: lazy*
rikki:So im trying to get some rest = Im lazy
rikki: GREAT
Iamgay:HOW OLD R YOU
rikki:Im 5, and how old are you?
rikki: DICKHEAD
Iamgay:as if
Iamgay: as if u r 5
rikki:Err, Then?
Iamgay:TELL ME R REALO AGE
rikki: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA LEARN TO FUCKING TYPE YOU DICK
Iamgay: wat and swar as if ur prant's would like to see you doing this to a lil kid
Iamgay: it looks like you are tring to murder merikki: HAHAHAHAHAAH THE WAY YOU ARE TYPING!
rikki: DAMNED STOP KEEPING ME AWAKE!
rikki: IM SUPPOSED TO BE ASLEEP
Iamgay:as if
Iamgay:HELLO
Iamgay:SPEEK
Iamgay:NOT ASLEPP R U?
Iamgay:soz if you were
rikki: ?????????
Iamgay:WHAT
Iamgay:HELLO
rikki:FUCK YOU DICKHEAD
Iamgay: y dont you
Iamgay:i hate you realy bad
Iamgay:go away
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And So I Did :)

Oh and yesterday i had this game with geraldine. It was kinda funny, I mean I had been trying to play minesweepers a long time ago But the computer just disallows it. After several trys, it worked out. And we played the minesweeper in a Different Style . Our WAY. LOL, It was funny, Just look at the score and its kinda obvious WHO edited IT. The score is 25-25 and SHE WON -_-.

Im home, Welcome back.

2006-09-03T22:09:00.000+08:00

Lots of thing to write about today, Really so much. So where do i start? I have no idea, I just know that the keys on my new keyboard are hard to type on and that Its kinda sad to see the SX era just ending like that with the death of the character=\. I seriously have no idea where do i start from, i have tons of things to talk about so its kinda hard . I'll just start by saying.

I waked up ridiculously early on Saturday 2nd of september 2006. It was a hard day for me as My Ga-(Sorry i cant complete the word, I"LL GET BAMMED LOL) partner is still upset. And i know what day 2nd of september 2006 is, Obviously i would. As i opened my wallet and i saw this brown lettered covered word, "Yuxi" (Yes Of course i know what it is, im just making it sound more dramatic ). Slowly, I opened it. Its geraldine's house warming party.. invitation card. *You see, Guys assume a lot, alright Fine I assume a lot.* I thought that it was'nt a really good time for me to actually turn up, since miss wu already told me. Then i sent her a message, then she called, and i decided to go. Yeah As simple as that, No no no details to be disclosed. Dude, i actually went to mirc to ask stupid things. And to think that people from #singapore could actully give me constructive answers . #singapore you know, the usual "Any young girls looking for job" "Any young girls got webcam" thing. I then told myself, mai tu liao . Off i went.

I arrived at eunos, I thought i was late. I mean, thereotically i was. But they were bathing, So i had to walk around aimlessly. At first, i thought that genesis was playing a trick on me as i sent a couple of non replied messages , Just when i was about to go back she called. "Yeah can you wait a while geraldine's bathing" From that point on , i knew i had to wait not just a while.
Eventually i got up, Geraldine's friend gave me a strange impression. I knew i had to give him a strange one too. ^^. And then, we came. I was feeling the stress already, STRANGERS ! STRANGERS STRANGERS STRANGERS STRANGERS STRANGERS STRANGERS! We played cards in geraldine's room. I tell you ah, her room has one of the most spacious views i've ever seen in my life. And the colouring everything is SO GOOD. The only thing i disliked is her ball light, Its definitely not a place for fat people, i kept hitting my head on it. For some reason, we watched a good show in her room. She's the man, no im the man, you fag jk. Someone kept making weird noises when the show was playing, Just GREAT. And then , we had food, on geraldine's BED. She's so flexible, i mean i would rather my food on the table but i can't imagine my guest eating food on my bed. And her bed looks so clean! Whoa, luckily i was able to eat fairly better than usual not leaving any food on her bed. Hey and after that i took lots of videos, Some got deleted after that damned . I even videoed gen falling off the bed and kicking me in the process, Yes obviously that was deleted too. Eventually i guessed we had to socialize a bit , we went to the auntie's room , sorry i called joanne auntie LOL . Yeah and we played taboo, i was feeling extremely stressed but genesis helped me a bit. Here's this thing, i dont know why but somehow her presence calmed me. Yeah when it was finally my turn to actually taboo the word , i was nervous and eventually enjoyed myself.

Overall the game was quite fun, at first i thought that we'll just get over with one round and off we go do something else. But after a while i thought hey? This bunch of grown ups are nothing different from josephine(yes the idiot one jk) and friends! LOL, hey i can still remember some of the names. Here goes, Linda, Corene, Euegene, melissa, josephine,Joanne. Hey actually, i guessed them all right. And sadly, genesis had to go. We sent her off the "airport" Shouting out stuffs and acting like spastic kids . We went back, and we played card games and eventually the thing that i had fun the most. MURDERER , wow the extreme version. We form a circle in the dark and litted candles and started chanting rituals, kidding. We formed a circle and hold hands. It was really fun, and if only if i was wearing dark clothes, hey i could camoflage myself . Whoa Big black stone jk. We all had to go back , I did'nt wanted to leave but i figured i could'nt stay over there as its inappropriate to ask and that i did'nt wanted to miss the train. We took lots of videos on the way, Screaming and shouting and even one about modelling haha. Overall i had great fun that day, it was awesome i loved it i really do hope to have another one of this . Oh well guessed we'll have to wait till geraldine buys a new house, Oh and btw, She love kids ^^ She is so patient with the eunice(sorry i can only remember LOL) And mushroom head guy. ^_^

Then it was today. I had to go to church otherwise i would be GUFUING joanne's nagging non stop for 3 weeks. Derrick cancelled the date last minute as he could'nt wake up, ASS . I had to went to church myself. Dude, i was so nervous, i had stress. I went to the second level and went into the wrong one, it was english service . So i went to the third floor and i went into the wrong one again, this time it was the children's service. Finally i went into the correct one, 4th floor. Hey as i went in , i see familiar faces and strangers immediately i isolated myself in one far corner, trying to make myself not visible(which was quite impossible). Today's session was very meaningful, they talked about family and what we needed and what we are in. Its a pity you did'nt came. After that i met derrick in bugis. WAIT, before i met him, i met with a accident A VIOLATION CASE. I was listening to my mp3 until i walked into the toilet and i could still hear someone singing even with my earpiece on , As i take it out and proceed to pee. "boy ah can you help me with my zipper". ................................................................................ I then went out, DUDE I GOT VIOLATED WITH HIS WORDS FUCK IT.
Eventually derrick came, hey he still laugh at me and said that i should had slapped his face and say "Please donate to the president's star charity" .__. We then went to watch Devil Cooks Prata LOL. Yeah it was a good show, too bad the egg prata not good enough, Derrick said that the kosong one was too bad. No seriously, somehow it inspires me.I have to say this, MY FUCKING KEYBOARD FUCKING SUCKS MAN FUCK THIS . Im not used to good keyboards i prefer the old one where i can bang and smash it and space it properly without having any spaces left in between<-RAndom->. Yeah it inspiries me that, to be a role model to be a LEADER. You have to cut everything else except work. >_>. Thats all(Yeah im merdin presley). Eventually we all went back as we're out of cash.

Oh and jiajia was still staying there along with her other friends , its kinda cool Haha.
I feel that theres a need to say this, Friends aren't tools to get to your own advantages. Friends aren't things that you can trample with your feelings and authority Or The friendship. Friends are people, PEOPLE that we live with everyday. Friends are FRIENDS.

Alright, i'll stop here i really can't connect myself tonight man.
TAKE IT EASY MAN!

Wasting my life doing a dumb quiz

2006-08-27T02:14:00.000+08:00

7 random things about me :
I'm on Earth
I'm human
I'm male
I'm a product of chance
I'm what u're not
I'm trying my best to overcome social anxiety disorder
I'm alive?

7 Favourite music at the moment:
Join me - H.I.M
Killing Loneliness - H.I.M
Atlantic - Keane
The Frog Prince - Keane
Sound of Melodies - Leeland
Take All of Me - Hillsong
Mee Siam, Mai Hum - By Mr Lee lol

7 Things i Like the most:
My iPod
My Computer
To be able to make someone happy , because i believe a good way of measuring success in Life is to see how many lives u're able to brighten
How things work on Earth
To love and be loved
Memories
Family and Friends who guide me through turbulent times

7 Lucky People to do This:
A
B
C
D
E
F
G

Posted by Derrick.
Viewers please exercise discretion.

Often

2006-08-26T23:37:00.000+08:00

I've most probably said this a couple of times this week. Man are from mars and woman are from venus. Always picking on the other gender, always not being able to understand the other gender.
Often I am misunderstood, Its hard but lets face it alright? life. I've been through a lot(fine, some), emotional crisis and all. I've had some dark clouds, and yet its raining now.
Alone for awhile, I've been searching through the dark. For traces of the love you left inside my lonely heart. To weave by picking up the traces that remains. Melodies of life, love's lost refrain.
Im told to do a quiz.

7 RANDOM FACTS ABOUT ME:
You probably dont know this, But i have a thing for cats. I love them.
I actually play the piano, heh yuxi playing the lol keys. you mean banging.
I've always love deeply and passionately, Although I might get hurt. Thats the only way to live life completely.
Im often misunderstood.
Im not rikki the singer
I think i am ville valo
Im not gay. (No really im not=P)

7 FAVOURITE MUSIC AT THE MOMENT:
Oh too much to write, Killing loneliness. H.I.M
Everybody's changing. Keane
Things will go my way. The Calling
Heartache every moment. H.I.M
Julia
Sleepless city treno
4th Avenue Cafe. L'arc En Ciel~

7 THINGS I LIKE THE MOST:
I like the breeze thats blowing past me at night.
I like piggy sweets back then.
I like my wallet because there's pictures.
I like building my happiness on other people sorrows, Im a despicable person.
I like being hated cos it gives me a great deal of satisfaction of how im able to overcome Feelings
I like my dick because i love children and dick gives me children along with hole.
I like kicking your nuts.

7 THINGS I SAY MOST:
Sorry.
Please forgive me.
Rationally
Man are from mars, woman are from venus(Technically this is true)
Lies
Bothering words, Irritating words
If I could, then I would.

7 LUCKY PEOPLE TO DO THIS:
Derrick
My pet rock(my rock's a human u fag)
My pet germ(Who said germ is'nt a person's name)
My ka kia Josephine.
Skyline
My mom( i wished she'll put me under the hate list)
Geraldine(technically you've done, so haha)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I am misunderstood, it was'nt much of an big issue. But well haha, Im here. as always..

Nah

2006-08-24T19:34:00.000+08:00

Was about to type something here tonight. But figured that i could'nt really connect my mind after i eaten. So forget it.

Alright fine, i've got something to blog about.
As i finished my food, I thought of something that would be intresting. TO PRANK. LOL. HEEEE
HEEEEEEEEEEEE HEEEEEE HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

*DRING DRING DRING DRING DRING DRING*
*Pick up sound*

"Hello?" She mumbled

"Hello, may i speak to man, Yes may i speak to man. Yes may i speak .."Asked Man

*Totally blur about what is happening voice* "Oh, Im sorry er you got the wro...EH WA LAO WEI" She exclaimed

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHA"

"You SAID IM SORRY ER YOU GOT THE.. LOL HAHAHAHAHAHAH "
*Duuu* * Duuuu* *Duuuu* (She hanged up on me =D)

HAhahahahaha, Yeah and that she was GERALDINE . I cant believe my acting skills reached the CLIMAX , Yeah DAMNED Im Good alright. I FOOOOOOOOOOOLED UUUUUUUUUUUUUUU HEEE HEEE HEEE.

C'mon, It was just a joke. To those who looked at this and dont believe it (As told from her). Im sorry if you dont believe it, but its true =( HEEE HEEE HEE

Forgive me please

2006-08-21T20:14:00.000+08:00

Sorry,call me a Airhole or a bastard or anything.
Just unblock me.
EH U DID? LOL OKAY.

IM freaking demoralized by the results i have, im not trying to blame the teachers or anything. What im trying to say is that, its because i did'nt pay attention in class or study. Which led to my downfall of terrible results. I've done so badly in maths for like 2 years already. I cannot keep doing this, i have teachers and friends who tells me that im slacking way too much. Mathematics, now feels like a chore to me. Its like, i dont understand anything at all. Like, Why am i doing this? Why am i torturing myself, thats the kind of feeling im getting whenever i do mathematics. I have to study, i have to start now, This is too bad. So if anyone would help me with maths, i'll gladly appreciate it. Next, its my chemistry. LORD I"LL CONFESS THAT I"VE CHEATED IN MY CHEMISTRY TEST, SO PLEASE STOP FAILING ME. Thats right, if anyone would help me, I'll gladly appreciate it. I've learnt that life is one big game, where the winners are all getting paid. I should stop dragging my feets behind. I can't live with my folks all the time. Buck up u fucking asshole.

Today, I went to school(Wow). I ended school(Yes I ended school , the teachers bowed down to me and the school workers wiped my shoes, and the principal cleaned my ass) I then went to mac donalds and got scratched by that bitch(Yes u jian ting). She is dangerous. I then received a message and went to westmall, I thought something happened. Okay, i know i dont drive, but i have bicycle LOL. Next time, Yeah i've told u, when i came there, I mean i really wanna fetch u. Yeah then we played tai di at Mac donalds, the uncle who chased us all is damn cute cos he did'nt kicked my nuts although i was trying to pick a fight with him. Then we played on the bus, i saw the sitting arrangement, and i thought haha lame. We then went to hazel's apartment. WTF, the pool got people man, genesis saw it too, SOMEONE FLOAT UP THE POOL. And hazel's room is damn cute, can see tarzen outside, everyone's mood was so deep and sorrowful, so i tried to cheer them up but failed nevertheless. U know what scares you the most is'nt when the ability u gained is bad. But what scares u most, is when that ability is TAKEN AWAY FROM YOU. I missed laughing. Hysterically. And then we all went home, OH YES and this cat . Although its black, well its still a cat. I love cats(Sorry i do). As i went to cuddle her(Lets just take it as its a female), GERALDINE PULLED ME FROM BEHIND AND SHOUTING "LETS GO YUXI, AHHHHHH" Yeah. I could'nt cuddle it, =*(. Home sweet home.

I did'nt wanted to talk about this, But eventually I still have to. You. The world doesent revolves around you only, you can't say and do things just cos you like it . You can't just briefly say So? I dont care, just to brush off a matter that involves you in it. We're affected by you. Yes i am, deeply. Frankly speaking, I would'nt want my personal life to be controlled or rather interferred by an asscrack like you, so please if you haven't had anything better to do. Go face the wall and shout "FUCK YOU BITCH' . Yeah, that'll make you happier.

And As for the phone? I've kinda roughly get an idea of what i wanna get, BE WAITING DUDE, just endure another few months and you'll get your new phone, like how you yearn for it.

Oh please be happy, Its sad to see me fine here, and you there feeling all lousy and down. Let me help you, It makes me feel very useless not being to do anything for you. Well when you wanna let it out, I'll just let you know that im always here and that you can always count on me :) Smile like how you used to.

Oh many things

2006-08-20T01:49:00.000+08:00

You jerk it out
Oh yes, So many things to talk about. So much , that I had to get off my bed and blog at an hour of 1.48am.. Fishy, i smell the taste of curry LOL . At such an hour aint it so? ^_^. This blog entry was meant to be a lot, But i dont have that much of a energy to do so. So i'll most probably rant a little, or describe a little.

Many of you most probably watched CLICK(Okay damned, when i talked about this part i was shitted. I totally forggoten that i had this entry and forggoten to press the publish button) the movie. Yes the Sorrowful show in disguise of comedy. When i first learned that i was watching with derrick on Friday, I was so excited. Excited till the extent that i NEARLY brought a remote control to the cinema and be an idiot(Which i already am one Wahaha), but derrick then told me before that his friends and him did such a thing before. A group of them, lets just say 7. All brought remote controls to the cinema, and started pointing and Foreigners or anyone they see, FAST FORWARD was said LOL. As i was about to leave the school. A group of sexes joined me, and we began our excursion. As we arrived, we went to food repug. That place is awesome, i just love it. The table's colour and all the structure, Heck theres even a pretty view. (HERES THE KINKISH PART) What really fascinates me, is that a person would be moving around selling drinks, Yes u heard me, Selling drinks on the spot. Not those kind of coffeshop uncle who asked u, you go shouting kopi c ji bui.. Yeah the food was great, And my brother did'nt believe me, GO CHECK IT OUT ASSHOLE. And then when derrick arrived i did'nt noticed, until when i checked my phone and saw 5 missed calls and two hate messages. "ZZZ im going home" "-_- What the fuck is this". I then noticed that i was on TOTALLY SILENT MODE(No vibrations or so), K idiots touching my phone. As i called him, He was there. I was glad to see him all in one piece, Hey He is sweating. As we sat down, and him seeing all my friends being there. Being the only guy with "problems". He could'nt help it but send me a "Good job asshole" Message, Yes its my fault im sorry. I then went to make him relax by saying my friends are a bunch of total idiots(Yes they are, Tested and confirmed by derrick). And we went to walk to cineleisure, those dudes were a total cluthz in jaywalking N00BS. I was the first to cross the road, and soon began felling asleep on the railing(Due to extreme waiting). We then went to watch Click(I dont wanna describe what happened when we were walking there, its too embarassing).

Click is a comedy, its also a sad show. I loved the lame barney part. For those of you who had watched it. Have u ever tried to put this movie into your life? Many times, as i was quarreling. Be it friends or family, i would always not wanna listen it, and really wanna "fastforward" it. The show makes me wanna live my life to the fullest for the next 6 hours(Yes derrick, i won u by 2).If somehow i managed to get an controller like that, and i fast forwarded my life to the time when i get a good job. Thats like 10 20 years? I wont know what really happened in it. But the show is abit zzz. As the man was dying, he still went to point middle finger(WTF, and i thought he wanted to pat that man and give him some last words =.=) But what really affected me. Was what morty said, after he woke up(Although rationally it happened). "Hope you do it right THIS time" This sentence acts as a thing to remind us that life, Only happens once. And, not everything would be given a second chance. Sometimes, In life you might get hurt, or you might get happiness. But what really is life? Life is'nt how you live it,
Life is about living it.
Oh if your wondering if im still affected by the movie. Yes, I did. Right now im gonna try to live my life better...

Recently i've been going out a lot, I spent too much money. Thats not nice . Just today i went to a concert, Its fun to see some people wearing different types of clothes. While i will always wear my uniform. Band was cool, and i tried to act spastic but the group of friends were too little. Otherwise i'll have be real nuts. You know , some retarded people were shouting and cheering after each song is played. Oops, i should'nt call them retarded . Honestly, we should pity them. They are the kind of people who had deprived childhood and really wanna be a kid again, Lets be nice. And i wanted to be a real fucktard. I wanted to scream in between the song, so loud that it breaks the whole song. And everyone would start looking at me, And i'll be in tears. And i'll go to that right pillar corner, And WAIL LOUDLY AND CRY . Just like the emo kids Wahahaha. Derrick once told me about a extreme emotional case would be when a person looks at a tissue paper, and she CAN ACTUALLY come out with reasons to tell you why she's crying. Yeah btw, when i entered the room, i wanted to shout "Daddy ! Mommy where are u!" And then "heh, what a nightmare" LOL. And it ended, with damnation feelings.

As i went back. I then meeted mathias at the market. He broke up, thats damned. I wont say much, but i'll just slightly talk about it. Person A is trying to save a relationship, while person B doesent give a damn. Totally sicked up. Oh and its on a honest basis. Like i said , i wont say much. So i'll just let u know something. IN life, You are bound to get hurt and all. What u must take note that, you can't force a person to love you, BUT u can let yourself be loved.
Love deeply and passionately, You might get hurt, but thats the only way to live life completely. You broke that chain, you smashed that toy, you put the chain in the peanut soup. Whats the point? Dont cry because its over, Smile because it happened. Your life is like a grass. People like wendy, are those tiny little pretty grass are those that attracts you and wants you to pick it up. And those Tiny ordinary grasses are those PEOPLE WHO ARE AROUND U. Think about it.

When people dont argue over the things that are bitching them. When people dont really mind although u've said fucked up stuff. Its always in the appearance, It means they are tolerating you. It means they still wants to be friends with you and hope that you'll stop your bullsh!t. Lets just be crude, STFU .

Drowziness has gotten all over me, as i blurred myself frantically finding the publish post i see a red X. On the top right hand corner. Is that ? THE PATH TO FREEDOM? No, wait i saw an orange. My favourite colour, oh there it is.

-.-

2006-08-17T19:09:00.000+08:00

Hi. This blog is alive. It has 4 buttons and err.. I dont know, its just not dead. Well i have lots of things to update, but im not gonna them today. I mean, not all of them.
Many things happened recently, and i must say. I am glad with some of them. My emotions are more stablelized , and im proud of it LOl(No im not nuts). The rainbow after the storm, Yeah. Thats how you describe it.
And im not gonna update about the unhappy things, but here's what i gotta say. If your saying, Being Emotional = being a girl. here's what derrick said, "STFU, or i'll get all my friends and stuff cocks into your mouth" K rant all you want.
I love the way some songs are written, like. BABY JOIN ME IN DEATH . WAhahahaha.
And, I found my inspiration for piano again. Its kinda dumb, because well im grade 5 and its like im still noob at it. I lacked discipline.
And i have a feeling that for this year, i will not do well in my exams. Dude, my POA. Its like, i dont know whats debit and credit.
I was actually about to stop just here, but i found some motivation to blog again. -.-.
Yeah, recently a friend of mine. He's father past away due to stroke. Its kinda sad, but at the same time it makes me wanna live my life to the fullest. Why? Stroke , is a illness caused by many reasons. Im gonna try to be thin LOL THATS LAME MAN, and. It makes me wonders, sometimes people work so darn hard , eventually they are the one's getting kicked in the nuts. Whereas the people who are bullshitting , kick the people in the nuts. I wanna live my life better, i wanna find a work.
Speaking of work, Yeah. Recently im so darn short on cash , that i can't even have a proper $2 meal. And speaking of money. Even at my age, Money affects relationship. If u talk to dudes like melvin, and your talking about money. Whoa he'll go like dead serious, for example you guys are argueing over something. Lets just give an example, okay cats are cuter than dogs(Okay rationally this is true LOL yes it is). And melvin will go, dogs are definitely cuter than cats, WANNA BET HOW MUCH. I BET WITH U $100 dollar man. And if your gambling with him, And he loses, he wont pay u straight away if he can pay u in another way. But if you lose to him, it'll be like "pay me NOW" LOL. Kinkish aint it so.

Sometimes, it makes me wonder. What are we really here for? I know its to learn to be like God. But our roles? How we live it? Sometimes I feel that WE as humans are so preoccupied with our feelings that we forget whats around us sometimes. Life's is truely unpredictable.

Its been awhile since my father went to overseas. I feel that im a bit lifeless, i lacked something in life. Something real important. Work. I dont feel physical stress, i dont feel the load on my back. Physically. I need it. GIVE ME STRESS. And today i was kinda damned, when i tried to call geraldine on my phone, i called infront of mr chin and i did'nt notice it. And i had to beg him for 30 minutes to return it to me. What a bitch, I had to rush home for my midnight sonata.
And u know, MSN nicks. I've seen some retarded nicks, and theres one which goes like this "What is the lightest thing on Earth" And when i saw him online, i clicked him and spammed him with the word "ME" LOL" But the most retarded one is mine
"- r i k k i - > > > CHONG CHI CHOW CHOW KONG KING TIAO AR!".
Yes, Self explainary text? You'll be noobed if u dont know it .
U said u hate the word noobcake MAN.
Its the sweetest and cuttest name i can ever think of Wahahaha . Its either, Choice A)Noob cake
Or choice B) COW.
PICK IT YOUR CHOICE Wahahaha
=\=\=\

IM gonna brieftly talk about this song Moonlight sonata. Its a quiet song, its dynamics. its concurssions. Its melody, Its mood, its tempo. Totally suitable for a crying scene. Its absolutely wonderful, it warmths your heart. A never ending song, It can just play on and on. Like the melody of a life. So whoever wants to hear it. Here's the full video of someone playing it, Not the original author though
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mb-BZ4F74fw&mode=related&search=.
Oh Yeah, I've been wondering. What i wanna be when i grow up, perhaps i can be a pianist, no not a penis =P LOL

Ever smiled at the tragedies

2006-08-12T12:40:00.000+08:00

Recently i have been staying up late for no reason . It seems to me, that a second josephine is formed LOL.
Just now i was making dumplings man. As you readers know(Rationally i know , i have no readers LOL) I am a cluthz at art or folding. My mom told me how to make dumplings, my first attempt ended with strings of vulgarities from my mouth. And the second attempt, i had to tolerate and so on. Eventually , it just gets better and better. The thing about dumplings is that it has sections. And normally the last section is usually my favourite part, Eating. Wahahaha, Getting to taste the rubbish i made is terrific.
As i was using msn, i began irritating almost everyone on my contact list. I used my mike, and pissed them off. As i was scolding derrick, i noticed something. Im darn vulgar, i've got to change that, Im supposed to be civil.

Awaits Justification.
Silenced by the fear of dying your heart once again.
Good bye

Truth

2006-08-09T01:20:00.000+08:00

As i lie in my bed, the ticking clock makes me think of you. I turned in circles confusion, which is nothing new. Flashbacks of pretty memories as i go emo and cry, left behind. A suitcase of memories was what i had left afterall, time after time.
Sometimes u picture me. Im walking far ahead, You might be calling me but i cant hear what you had said. But u said slow, i then fall behind. Eventually, time after time, i hope to catch up.
I cant do anything at all now, but if your ever lost and you can look, you will find me.
If you fall, i'll catch you and i'll be waiting,Time after time.
Time after time, your picture starts to fade away and darkness has turned to grey. As i looked through the window wondering if your still okay. Time after time, I'll be waiting, time after time.
Apparently for no reason, you seemed to be mad at me MUI. I wondered what i had done, but i wanna know why? Why is it that you refused to answer my damned calls and eventually went away without saying anything. When your back, and if u ever read this(Rationally i know u dont) . call me.

Titled

2006-08-02T18:19:00.000+08:00

Recently there's a lot of things to talk about. I 've noticed that my life is improving a lot, and I LOVE it.
Frankly speaking, Im quite aware of my surroundings, I might not been looking at you but im aware of you(Yes, this is my first sentence, the one i wanted u to guess, but you'll never guess it). Some people in my class are mofos in a way, their pretendence pisses me off. Who the fuck do you think you are, pardon my words but i feel that there's a need. And you, i've been having cold war with you for so long, from march i think. It ain't big deal to me, the sight of you pisses me off. And dear you, You're getting on my nerves, i know we're great friends for quite some time. But sometimes, i just feel that you went overboard. I can tolerate, sure i have quite a patience i must say. But sometimes, the things that you spout might not concern me only. You do understand what i mean right? I mean, if its for good intentions i dont mind. But obviously its not.

Its been 2 days since my dad went for china. I must say, its extremely tiring without him. Bloody hell, yes kinda. I've been doing the chores a lot. I mean, i do have siblings. Its as though im the maid for them. Take last night for example i was studying at 11pm, and i became tired and soon wanted to rest for awhile. I told my brother to wake me up at 12am so that we can hang the laundry together. When i woke up, it was 12.30. I went into my bro's room and he was still using the computer happily, obviously he forggotten about it. I scolded some vulgarities, i doubt he heard it. And went to hang the laundries myself. It was tiring i tell you, especially at night i was about to die. When i finished it was 1.15, I still had to study for my chinese test the following day which was today. So then i dozed off with the paper on my hand. When i woke up in the morning, i tell u ah. Damn tired, like got ghost sit on me like that then a bit siao lor LOl.
There's so much to do recently, i dont really have much time , and my handphone is gone now. All forms of communication cut off. Which is damned.I dont have much to say but i'll end with a apology
Im sorry, I know i keep on telling you i updating i updating which ends up when u log off i still haven't update. Im sorry i can feel that your disappointed me for in a way fail to fufil task. I told u to update and so you did immediately, you told me to. And i was slacking. Im sorry, theres just too much things to do, =\. Well i'll update faster next time yeah, sorry geraldine.

It feels so different now

2006-07-31T17:31:00.000+08:00

Watashiwa Hitori. I cant believe i did this entry first at my book -.-
Many things happened and i dont really have the time to update them all. Take example, derrick lost some competition and im kinda disappointed. Frankly speaking, i find myself caring a lot about derrick. I dont know why , but it seems that he has became a part of me and the bond that i had formed with him. However, This does not means that we are gays. I mean, i dont mind it, but its another case for him. He says that it degrades his image. Lol, c'mon its not that bad right?

Recently, i've been getting more and more emo. I've watched this samurai x OVA, its kinda affecting and mix up my mood a hell lot. Im recovering, many things had happen. I'll be frank, i've notice a change in some of my friends and its really "(geraldine) <----She wrote this in my book, RANDOM" irritating, what i mean is true colours.

Today, I've temporary lost a important person in my life, My dad is going to China to be a project manager. "and this is another spot check!<---Random" (Yes this is random she wrote it again LOL) Despite the countless disputes, i still feel that i really do need him.

Right now, what i hope for, and what i wish to have. is someone who can really understands me. I may appear cheerful at times, but honestly there is a really deep hole in me. Perhaps you can say that my laughter acts as a medium for my sadness. From lashes to ashes, from lust to dust. in your sweetest torment, I'm lost. And no heaven can help us. "You writing poem arh! crazy" ---< yes another random" " (No its not a poem, Its what i feel, aint me cool jk"

Oh and btw, Im turning civil aint that good? Im so glad that derrick has influenced me in his crafty ways. THANK U!. And lastly i would like to end with the phrase that affected me a lot "go mei na sai, anatamo..." YES NO MORE SPOT CHECK LOL! And yes, thank you for talking to me first this few days. I appreciated a lot.

as it begans again

2006-07-27T19:07:00.000+08:00

I have ten minutes to complete this entry. IM FORCE TO DO IT ! This sucks, i dont know what to update about.

Okay lets just say, things are starting to get back to normal. It seemed that my prayers worked after all. Im so glad, that its coming back back. I could'nt be any happier. Derrick , i really want you to know that, You really are my buddy dude. And I really appreciate the things you had done for me, your advices, your thoughts. Most importantly, you tried to put yourself in my shoes, because of your advices and mockings, I picked myself up.

Tommorow I might meet derrick because he's gonna teach me how to style the hair, funny yeah. I went to school with a funny hair today, but w/e. Yeah, i kinda missed derrick a lot (THIS DOES NOT INFER THAT WE"RE GAYS, I mean I WANT TO but he doesen't JK). S.A.D huh? Take care dude.

Thanks so much your highness, im glad i am able to talk to you again, you dont know how happy i am. Apparently, im looking forward to the dress your gonna wear tommorow LOL. BTW, WTF! ORIHIME LOVES ICHIGO? Thats like Big boobies loving strawberry!?!?!?! LOL . And then i end this post with GERALDINE RULES LIKE CRAZY.

I missed you badly

2006-07-23T19:27:00.000+08:00

This week i've met derrick twice. Im so happy. The first one was when we met for lunch.
I was wearing my school uniform when i met him, Wow? His wearing some pimped clothes, H.I.M and a fancy pants and shoes. I was wondering if his poly was a christian-type, and will they crucify him. Maybe? :O Anyway, we went to orchard to walk around. The main reason was actually i wanted to meet him thats all. Guessed what, We were approached by a "Modeling agency" No its not me silly, its obviously him. Wow, and its kinda obvious they were fake because of the card . It was hand written and behind the card was total white. And then i gave fake name and fake number thats real retarded.

We later went to eat some beef bowls, and wtf. Derrick showed me his laptop and what he brought to school. Its extremely weird. And I just noticed the favourite band i liked. Was actually a bunch of transexuals , derrick told me so. H.i.M. And then we walked around , lamed around a bit. I've always enjoyed his company. His so awesome, giving me the advices I need and the laughter i lacked. Im glad that i knew him. And then we went home early, because both us brought only $17. So coincidence right.

Next, it was today.I BROUGHT DERRICK TO CHURCH LOL. We met so early. Damned i waited for him so long lor. Wait until can sleep. Dont say i grumble, but its really rubbish. And then we headed to church. I seem to have recognize a lot of people and a lot of them seemed really glad that im back. As the service starts. I can see derrick getting extremely uncomfortable, I dont know what i can do for him. Except pray for him. Its hard to adapt true enough. But time will take its role And so will God. But he did say something which i find it extremely amusing. He said it was creepy. LOL.
And then we went to bugis to eat. Alamak I was so hungry lor, and then guess what derrick asked me to eat. Delifrance, wtf lar. Derrick please, we're both hungry like shit. And u ask me to eat something unfillable and expensive, i was really happy at that food court actually until you said delifrance =\.. I was actually rather happy when we were eating. It brings back many fond memories, derrick plays renewal as well. And he has a pk count of 200+ Thats sucks. And he told me about how evil, but i liked it.

Because the lan shop was closed, and the other one was full. We had to watch some lame shows instead. It was the dumbest show i've ever seen. Its about the nacho libre(Mexican wrestling) Fuck la , pardon my language but its really damn lame. And i feel that its only for lame people to watch. Because derrick and i was laughing all the way, EVEN OVER SMALL DETAILS LOL.. Then again, somehow the show made me sad. The love part. I was wondering if something like that would happen, i'll be so glad. Im getting emo again, no this is bad. And we went home as we were both tired and no money. I noticed that everytime we meet, then we went home always around the same time one.

Many things happened, i know its my fault. But all i wanna say that is, I really miss you. And that, I really regretted what i did. Im sorry.
II am rikki

So what really is our purpose here anyway...

2006-07-18T16:32:00.000+08:00

Questions.
Yet no Answers...

Sua

2006-07-16T22:39:00.000+08:00

Look, if you dont wanna buy. You could just say it. You don't have to give me such faces and shits dude. If you dont wanna buy, just say IT. Dont have to say so much jiao wei. You wanna drag the topic so far, in the first place you lacked something to argue about . SO BEAT IT.

Love deeply and passionately, you might get hurt. But thats the only way to live life completely. Apparently, i lacked the confidence and courage to do so.

Yes you do need a title bitch

2006-07-14T23:08:00.000+08:00

OH NOES! It seemed as if my kick for dota is coming back up. Perhaps during this period of time. Im too into something. But i could'nt help it. Well whatever.
Clan dvst IS GONNA GROW FARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
Well if anyone's intrested do check it out at Channel clan dvst.

It seemed as though, Im no longer a thing in your eyes. Perhaps i should had taken more initiative in the past. But , it seemed as though its too late now huh? Or was it not..?

rikki.

I don't need a title

2006-07-13T23:28:00.000+08:00

Thanks Rikki for that intro. Firstly, I have to give u credit for making us look like gays. Secondly, i agree that without me u're lame , only right now with me u're just gonna be lamer. Plus your post was lame as well ( Wahaha ). Well i'm not gay although i'm not sure about yuxi =D. U can't blame me cos i only met him in person once . I'm actually typing this post when i'm suppose to do my reflection journal. But nvm la, there's a probability i will still get a pass for my daily grade =D. Hmmm, i won't blog often cos i only blog when there are many things running through my mind and that's when i'm usually feeling emotional ( Rikki's more emo than i m ) . Btw since Rikki initiated the 'merging' , i got to ask him to do me a few favours =). [1] Put some fucking music into the blog. [2] once i learn my new media stuff i'll change yr ( sorry it's ours ) blog template to something more chic [3] i would appreciate if lesser ppl know about us sharing the blog account. Why? Cos from the way u construct those entries, it sounds GAY... Omfg it's DAMN GAY it's HARDoooo GAY.zzZ . K that's basically it for now cos, i think i really waste a few minutes of my life on this and they say life is precious. I've put some effort into my first post so don't u go complaining bitch!

The opening. and the never ending

2006-07-13T23:23:00.000+08:00

Your are my feets.
Without you, I am lame.
I need you to guide me through the path I take.
Derrick.
Welcome.
You are my support and my sole.
Will you pick me up If i fall?
I'll make It damn sure you will. LOL
Enjoy your merging with me.
It will be a blessing.
It will be a torment.
But we'll stick through together.

rikki

._.

2006-07-10T19:16:00.000+08:00

Open your heart open your heart open your heart.

This is hard.
This is tiring.
But this is happy.
But for awhile.
Nothing 's happening.
But im so sad.
Why?
I dont know.
I might be sad now.
And be happy tommorow.
Im really retarded.
Fuck you yuxi.

Sentosa

2006-07-09T16:13:00.000+08:00

Recently, i've been very happy. But i do hope its not alternate. In a sense, my happiness is decided not by myself. But it was nevertheless wonderful for me. I do hope its not temporary, i hope its forever.

Today is a big day for geraldine. She's performing at Sentosa!. Sadly, its not solo , its as a group. Lets hope nobody screws it up for her. I wanted to buy some flowers for her so i went to jurong point at around 2. I was waiting for halim and zenia in mos burger because they decided to tag along(the truth is i asked them). They were late, i waited for them for 2 hours. It was 4 o clock. And guess what. ITS SINGAPORE IDOL Event there! I was about to doze off when i heard screams. And finally we went to buy the flowers. Aww, it was so lovely but it has a kinkish smell oh whatever.
And then we headed to Sentosa, they were assholes. They decided that we walked there, end up the road was closed so we had to head back to the station and take a bus there. Finally we reached Sentosa. Apparently, we had some internal conflicts but its only one person. I guessed halim was'nt really feeling well and he snapped. Leaving poor zenia and me there. But after awhile , he did managed to come back. yeah and we saw joanne and her friends there too. We then finally settled down at the grand place, Musical Fountain.
Immediately when we settled down, they started dancing already. WTF! They danced so well! Especially geraldine, she was so graceful. Hop hop hop. haha, honestly i was so excited at that time for her. So fun la. and then when the shows over. k skip that part, then i went home so lonely. And i haven't eaten too!, i wanted to eat with geraldine and friends but her parents were there so its kinda saddening. But overall IT WAS FUN! Im so glad for you geraldine, glad you had fun. Im just sad cos i did'nt take any picture that day despite the camera being in my bag all this while.

>=O

2006-07-01T08:25:00.000+08:00

Oh hi. Recently a friend of mine were really sad over somethings. Its about friend's relationship. Im not gonna really emphasise it. But im just gonna say that, sometimes in life this kind of things are bound to happen. But compared to geraldine, this girl's problem really is'nt anything. But still, its a sad case.

But what i can say for her is, take it as a lesson learnt. Its part of growing up, if you can't take this things lightly, what are you gonna do in future? I know im in not position to say this because im not you, but nevertheless i've said so. What can you do, try relying on your family more. True enough, some friends will help you, but its still a matter of choices in times of uncertainty. Who would go all the way for you? Its definitely your family.

Recently, i've been so obssesed with music, that i sing them every minute. But i've practiced a bad habit. I've sang songs thats extremely high in pitch, and then right away proceed to sing something like wherever you will go. I feel as if , my throat has a cut =|. OH AND BTW, LOL. GUESS WHAT, i actually fell asleep while sitting on a chair yesterday, ownage right. And then on a wall. Recently, i've done a lot of first thing's in my life. Haha.
And i end with this. How i feel, is just like in this song. Wherever you will go.

So lately, been wondering,
Who will be there to take my place
When I'm gone, you'll need love
To light the shadows on your face
If a great wave shall fall
It would fall upon us all
and between the sand and stone
Could you make it on your own

If I could, then I would
I'll go wherever you will go
Way up high, or down low
I'll go wherever you will go

And maybe, I'll find out
The way to make it back someday
To watch you, to guide you
Through the darkest of your days
If a great wave shall fall
It would fall upon us all
Well then I hope there's someone out there
Who can bring me back to you

If I could, then I would
I'll go wherever you will go
Way up high, or down low
I'll go wherever you will go

Runaway with my heart
Runaway with my hope
Runaway with my love

I know now, just quite how
My life and love might still go on
In your heart, in your mind
I'll stay with you for all of time

If I could, then I would
I'll go wherever you will go
Way up high, or down low
I'll go wherever you will go

If I could turn back time
I'll go wherever you will go
If I could make you mine
I'll go wherever you will go
I'll go wherever you will go

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

2006-06-29T20:18:00.000+08:00

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
IM SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HIGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Horoscopes? Quiz? What do they do. OH THEY MAKE YOU HIGH!

=|

2006-06-26T20:16:00.000+08:00

Hai, everyone's relationship is breaking up. Why kind they understand that in life, if your being loved, its a blessing. Many of my friends just dont cherish it, if they were in my stand . They would say the same. Being loved is a blessing, but i just dont get any of that kind of blessing. Skyline told me some things.
Time? I need to give her time. You said, that she needed it. If thats the case, i'll gladly wait any amount of time. IM too sensitive. In my Msn personal message. You can see that sentence. Heck, some people might think that its just a poser sort of thing. In actualy fact, it means reality to me. I mean it. That sentence, is what i will keep. For the rest of my life.

Normal person? How am i gonna do that. I can't control my feelings. You said that i have to at least try. And then i would, From tommorow on wards. =| Its gonna be a painful time. but i'll endure. Till the day i died. True enough, in life you'll surely get loved. For me, that kind of love im getting. Would be the time i die, funeral. Someone's bound to come right, because otherwise. I wont know what to do. Hah.

WTF

2006-06-25T18:29:00.000+08:00

I CUT MY HAIR WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFf

Story .

2006-06-24T00:44:00.000+08:00

Skyline
I have a friend, a story of him. As he was young, he was very bad. In a sense, He was a gangster. When he was sec 1, he fought on the first day, due to certain reasons. On the second day, when he was singing the national atheme, someone kicked him. "Ni hen huai ma? Ni you bi wo huai ma?"(You really think your very bad? Are you badder than me)" As this friend of mine (Skyline) turned back "Lim bei you bi ni huai"(Im definitely badder than you) Beat him thoroughly and roughly all over, and thus pretty much obvious was sent to the general office for canning and suspension for one week. When he was back, many sec 3,4,5s asked him to come out and fight or so. As skyline was a gangster and he knew many people, when he came out and fight, there were already many ginas(Followers) waiting for him. And then the sec 3,4,5s were scared and became friends with him after that. All coming from a sec 1. Some of you might think from this point, Wow his really something, I wished i was like him. But then, he was real bad, he was a gangster many people knew him. So? What good did he get. He was expelled, but was he happy? Definitely no, eventually he know that he did'nt win anything at all. What would he gain for being such a gangster and bad? Some of you might think people like him, Jiang li qi, ai zai, wu ji, hiong. (Very trustworthy, Strong, baddest) Worth respecting. But guess what he told me? In life, the people who really is worth respecting is'nt people like him, but people with knowledge, money, and character. He also told me, once your bad, you are always bad. When he asked his friends about how they think he is by" Eh, am i good or bad" "bad la of course", "Why bad? I now never do anything already im very good i never chup ji ki or anything like that already why bad" "Because once your bad, Your always bad". As i heard that i was stumped. True enough, in this society. Once your bad, even when you try to be better. People still view u differently.
So think about it guys, What will you gain from being bad?

And he did'nt just tell me about his stuff, He told me about relationships also. I wont tell you all what we talked about, But i'll just say. I feel like i need to change, To be a much more matured person. And a much more matured thinking person. From today onwards, I'll change. and im not rikki, nor hollow or even cousin. I am, yuxi.

Today i met up with geraldine and josephine+1(=D SKYLINE!) to study in bugis, who the hell would study in bugis, but whatever LOL. I met geraldine first at the macdonald, we settled down and bought our food. Suddenly, i spilled coke on my pants while carrying it on the tray. I was so damn nervous, for what? Because we haven't met and seen each other for 20 days and its kinda cool to see her again. And then josephine came, she was late by 30 minutes and she said that she was only late by 5 minutes. And then we went bugis, i was a total idiot in the mrt station i tell you. I was swearing and cursing all the way, do you know why? ITS BECAUSE OF SKYLINE LA, LOL HE TELL ME THE JOKES RIGHT, Damn buay tahan i tell you. Then damn lame also. But then it comes to the point of me asking him to meet us, actually at this point i would really like to apologize to geraldine and josephine. I mean, i know its just supposed to be us. And that my friend is'nt handsome(Josephine was extremely particular about that) it made you girls unhappy. I know it, but u know? If he was'nt there, i would be damn diam, totally shut up. To put it straight, he was just there to cheer us up haha. =\ Tension breaker, but i know you girls did'nt liked it. So i'll never do it again. Sorry. After that my friend met me, and we all went to the library.

As u know, in the library we were supposed to be quiet right. I WAS"NT AT ALL LAR WTH, skyline keep making me laugh i also buay tahan cheebye.. But its also not very nice la. Luckily no one chase us out also. Then right, damn funny la. Cos skyline say he dont disturb us, so he go read newspaper. As i said he did'nt study, he fell asleep while reading it. LOL. We studied a bit, as skyline went to smoke i followed him, i did'nt of course. As i hate it the most, but first time he see me, nevermind lar z. during that time, he tell me a lot of things. His past and all, and relationship things and after i hear it. =)
And then we went to play cs, as i was teaching geraldine. Josephine seemed extremely reluctant to pair up with skyline. But she did anyway LOL. As i was teaching geraldine, yar it was quite fun, damn cute also cos she keep buying awp. She said it was very cool, then she keep killing skyline and josephine. The girls were damn funny, when they killed each other they screamed. Then when skyline got killed, he smacked his forehead and gave that kind of face =\. LOL It was damn fun la overall, im glad everyone enjoyed it except for skyline, he say very sian, no kick play until wanna sleep liao. What a fucker my mouse was spoiled hello. And then we played for a while, i could see they quite sian . So i asked them to stop, later they addicted also die ma haha.. Then we went walk walk a bit, they bought the icecream! Haha, it looked so cute. Then right, after 30 minutes or so, they still eating the same ice cream. Kao, eat also dont need eat until so long right. Then we finally take neoprint. LOL SKYLINE SHY SIA, HE"S FIRST TIME. LOL Then we take. got a lot of nice pose la, I tell you all lor. That day, I was SO HAPPY THAT DAY! Haha. yar, then when we finally wanna go home. Suddenly josephine quarrel with jiajia, then decided to meet her. Then i sent geraldine home . As sky was on the same line, he took with us. Haha, he disturb her on the way back, he was real funny hor. Then we all went home lor. That was such a day of my life . I hope to have more fun days like that.
But i was sad i could'nt send you to your doorstep, the mrt's a dangerous place. It makes me worry , i mean it. But im just glad, your save and sound =)

=D=D=D=D=D=D=D=D=D=D=D=D=D=D=D=D=D=D=D=D=D=D=D

2006-06-23T10:43:00.000+08:00

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=D=D=D=D=D=D=D=D=D=D=D=D=D=D=D=D=D=D=D=D=D=D=D

HEEE HEEE HEEE HEEE HEEE HEEE HEEEE HEEE HEEEEE HEEE

Updating lar

2006-06-21T20:33:00.000+08:00

GERALDINE SAID SHE IS AN IDIOT AND SHE"S MY MASTER..=
Today i went to eat with michelle, DAMNED ITS SO DAMN SHORT I CANT PULL ANY OF IT LA. I mean, she cut her hair. Its quite cute, not as messy as before. If u wanna see it, go to www.loveraul.blogspot(Sounds kinky aint it).

Ah we talked about a lot things and it was actually quite embarrassing because we later went to jurong point, WE LAUGHED SO MUCH. Its so embarrassing because everyone looked at us because of our loud weird laughter i assumed. But it was cool, brings back sec one memories. It was fun back then. And then i went back.

Im happy to see my parents back already, safe and sound nothing i could ask more for. And it was fun being a hollow honestly, im being ordered to blog lol.There's nothing much to update about actually, All is fine so far. =\. ^^
But i just wanna say, As i read my past entries . I noticed something, It was fucked up. I mean it, I was fucked up. Why would i ever blog about something like that? It was'nt me back then, I mean it. It was my hollow IM SURE IT WAS. The son of a bitch kept me in the other world for a darn long time. I just wanna say sorry to those thats been with me all this while, i was a bitch. All the remains now is time.

5 days of free time

2006-06-20T03:01:00.000+08:00

Sorry dudes, Im finally back to posting. It had been lets see ..17 days since i last blogged. You can't blame me, I was'nt lazy. I just did'nt wanted to update about that day's happening because its miserable or its just plainly stupid. And then, i blog.

Whoa, I had 5 days of free time alone(+onee chan) at home. Im currently undergoing the 4th one. Its just so funny, I can't believed i tonned every night. Starting from the first, Friday. It was kinda boring that day as my brother went to his friends house to stay already. So that means im alone at home. To be honest, i kinda missed my family as they went for overseas and im just one person at home. I woke up at around 12,Its my first! Thats shocking eh LOl. Im following someone's habit already( you know who i mean). Then I summarized and think what will i be doing for the next five days including the current. To tell you the truth, I took 1 minute. And i came up with this, Let nature takes it course, im not gonna do any special plans, go out or anything. Which also means, I'll be using the computer 24/7 [which i did].
Finally, when i could'nt take it when it came into the night(I was just too lonely) . I had to call benjamin. And of course, he agreed. He came into my house at the time of 10pm+ And we played winning eleven, Dude that fucked up game. I lost to him every single game. With scores like 0-12, 0-15, 0-25. Thats just fucking stupid, how on earth can he be skilled with the controller. And controlling a stupid ball. It just makes no sense. Then we watched soccer at 12. I mean, to be specific. he did, i was gaming all the way until 2 o clock. When we had gotten hungry and we actually went down to mac donalds and had a heaty meal. Mc spicy+Mc wings FTW~!

Finally, He watched soccer and ended at 5. I was just too tired, i lied down on the bed. He , using the computer. As i noticed my eyes getting weaker. Slower, just as when i was about to close. "OI BU YAO SHUI LEH"(oi dont sleep leh) shouted that shit. And i replied, "Wo mei you shui, Wo zhi shi cai xiu xi(I was'nt sleeping, i was just resting)[Which was obviously a lie]. Lol, and guessed what happened next. I suddenly blacked out after i said that sentence. And when i woke up, Ben was beside me on the same bed. It was freaking 10am LOL. DAMNED. And then he went home at 12.
Theres a thing when he came into my house i hated terribly, Smoking. To be honest, I despise them. And i hate them, they never fail to give me irritating coughs and a blockage in my breathing.

And then it was the second day, Darn. My brother told me he was gonna stay for another day. I had no choice but to just have another normal day. On that day, I watched school rumble all the way. Damned that show is so funny and cute la. Tsukamoto chan! . I liked the girl who had two pony blond tails though, oh whatever that was random. And then the night falls. I began to feel lonely again, I feel like going out, i wanna meet people,I dont like to go out in the past, but now i do(bo bian, i was influenced, by A) It was 8 at that time, When i finally cannot take it. I took out my wallet and keys and ran to westmoore where i finally get comforted. Yes, people. I felt good actually. I walked around, see a lot of things , manga , toys etc LOL. And then theres this offer where they sell two tubs of icecream for only $3.70, i wanted to buy but obviously its sold out. And as i was going back, i bought some groceries. I asked my brother what else do i needed to buy, he said bread. I went to Shop and save. Then i see jin jue lang, then i went back my home area and buy. But the bad thing is, as i was buying bubble tea and proceeding to buy bread next. My stomach damn pain, then buay tahan also. Then i see inside the 7-elevan so many people, Then the shit coming out(Yes i love exaggerating) . I hurry up run back . Luckily, I was saved. I managed to get home before the bomb exploads.(ROFL)
Not much for that day, But i just became happy a lot and learnt a lot from school rumble. =\^^

FINALLY MY BROTHER IS BACK!!!!!!! THIRD DAY.... YESS. OH NOES ! HE"LL ONLY BE BACK IN THE AFTERNOON! Its okay! I'll just SLEEP UNTIL THEN LOL. As he came back, i was relieved and glad as he won second in this basketball tournament. ^^ WOW. I asked him what he won, he responded. "The first price was a 50 dollar pizza hut voucher" but he did'nt replied about the 2nd. So i sarcarsticlly said "Then the second prize isit 50 dollar kopitiam voucher? Then the third prize is 50 dollar toilet paper voucher?" He gave me a -.- face. Oh nvm , im just glad his back alright. Then i watched school rumble season 2 until 7 o clock when we decided to go to westmoore and eat kfc. The queue was so fucking long, Then damn fucking funny u know. Before me, theres a auntie ordering, then i could see the counter person face damn pissed off because the auntie was like "I want buy chicken" "Crispy or original" "chicken la" "I know its chicken, but crispy or original " "Do u have other choices? Steam?" LOL !!!!!! Okay , the steam part i add myself one. LOL-.-. And then we went to comics connection, I think we stayed around 1 hour like that there. We fucking lame la, We saw a sword that was pretty cool and the price for it Looked like it was $3.90. I told my brother its $13.90, he said no its $3.90. Cos the price tag thing is half covered or so. Then my brother damn lame, he go call the counter person go check. "Er auntie that sword isit $3.90" "Bu ke neng"(Impossible) LOL! Damn malu la, its $13.90 la z-.-. My brother then wanted to buy something else since its not $3.90, He saw many swords and finally decided on buying one sword. Quite zai la, final fantasy sword, then can poke people. Quite long also. Then he damn lame, he say want put as keychain then can swing and hit people. LOL. And then we finally went home, on the way we talked about a lot of things thats damn funny. I talked about the time when i was having cs tournament in the school and vsing the gangsters. Then damn funny la. z. To be honest, I'll say my brother's pretty knowledgable in terms of money. He know where to buy all those damn cheap and tasty food and what time got offer what time got cheap like that. So its always beneficial if you go out with him.
It was a fun day =) I mean it, Truely is. Never had such fun since =\. Oh nvm. The next day which is the 4th day, which is also today. Theres nothing to update about, I just practically gamed the whole day and blogged in the hour of 3am LOL. BUT TOMMOROW! WE"RE GOING SAKAE SUSHI! I damn looking forward to it la, i plan to skip breadfast then buffet. Cos i tell my brother i want eat good food when i went out with him on the 3rd day. He said "Kfc not good food meh" Alamak, =.=.
END!

[Tch!@Its lasagna not lasanga or langasa or anything LOL Why don't i learn how to cook? LOl I cant dude. All i can do is just fry eggs, open tuna fish can . CANNED FOOD LOL. I burnt vegetables black when i fry them Aint that cool?And i can fry until the fish black black one side, uncook the other side LOL SO WHY DONT I LEARN HOW TO COOK? U TELL ME LOL.]

Outing with mathias and wendy

2006-06-03T23:01:00.000+08:00

Hello. Its been awhile since i last blogged. Theres just too much things to blog about. Derrick injured his spine while he was Rollerboarding. It kinda cost him $280 for just jumping over a wall. I took up too much time in doing certain things, but i dont mind it at all. But during this time, So many things happened. Gladys being awkward to deadayo? Damned... Anyway today i went with Mathias and Wendy.

Before meeting Mathias i had to torture a nagging session by my dad again. He was talking to me about what goals im gonna have in life, and what do i plan to do. He's always telling me to do that, and he also talked to me about my expression. He said my expression very guai lan, -.-? Whatever, I then went to meet Mathias in bukit gombak mrt station. He was feeling sad because he's mother scolded him for some small matters, and it was very rough. I had to cheer him up just as i promised wendy to, I said i'll grob his balls during the cinema which i did'nt really managed to have a chance to. We then meet Wendy in bugis taxi stand. She was wearing some fancy pink shirt or was it top? Z, im not good with names. And we headed to walk around as there's still around 45 minutes to our show (Benchwarmers). During the walk, I was extremely uncomfortable and pai seh, and also envious in a way. They were so loving, holding hands and =.=. Then we watched benchwarmers, it was really funny. In their language, i guessed not many people understand the show. I was always laughing through out the whole show. Theres this guy picking his nose, and eating what he picked. EWWWWWWWWW LOL. (I meant the show, if it happens in real life I'll kill him) And then we went back as its getting late, they were just so loving. I really envied them! =>

Sorry i did'nt really go that detailed. I was, just well. =\

About guys

2006-05-31T14:46:00.000+08:00

You know, the thing about guys is that, sometimes they could be such boring creatures. They could actually be someone very rock, very noisy, very cheerful and lame. But there will always be a time when they turn into boring creatures. And that time, would be when they are in love. The thing is that, when the more guys care, the less fun it gets. In front of their love one they wanna be the best and try to hide as many bad points as much as possible, but then It normally ends letting the girl feel very bored. And guys would normally set a certain boundary to what they say and what they do. I believe that many of us are experiencing this. Personally, I am. Then i noticed that, Its actually better to say whatever you want. Do whatever you want, in that way at least u would make the girl more comfortable.. .then again its easier said than done.

Im back to more blogging now that its holidays. Right now i wanna personally thank vivien for introducing me that show, it really matured my thinking in many ways, thanks a lot =D.
And, I would like to say the biggest thank you to geraldine. For being so honest with me, That sentence you had there really had me thinking and set me back to my human state. It managed to let me think through the things i done and do something about it. But, Im still slowly changing. Give me some time. LOLOLOLOL. Done.

LOL WHOA

2006-05-25T19:09:00.000+08:00

Roflmao ! I ACTUALLY WROTE SOMETHING LIKE THAT IN MY PREVIOUS BLOG ENTRY? HAHAHAHAHA, WHAT A RETARDED IDIOT I AM! Sorry, its a way of distressing. How!? Parents meeting leh. If only my parents would think the same as every parent! They would look at my results, 3 fail badly, 4 passes, okay ignore the passes and aim straight for the fail, SCOLDING SESSION BEGINS NOW!
No seriously, Im extremely nervous right now. Because its my dad, Im imagining him talking to my teacher, and slapping his forehead while listening. And screaming at me in an unpleasant way. Dude, you have no idea how freaking scary that is. The last time was in sec 1 , when my dad had to meet miss sim. DAMNED I NEARLY SHIT MY PANTS, jk.

Uh, Cold

2006-05-23T19:58:00.000+08:00

Ug, that really fucked me really hard there. I was quite fucking sad when i read it, Hurt actually. After all the things i did? Damned, I...guessed theres no helping it then. IT cannot be forced. I was right, the third doesen't even need to happen and i know im down. Why isit that its always jeremy getting all the luck? There's none left for me at all. Fuck me, face it im jealous.

You know? you always asked me why am i so happy? The answer i replied was, because im naturally happy, because if your not naturally happy its not true happiness already? But its not it. The reason why im happy is because, I could look at you. And its not all, the reason why im happy is because we can talk together. And the reason why im truely happy, is because i met you.

Parents meeting is coming, everything is coming. But all of these are not important, what im really concerned about is whether im willing to take the step forward, or rather most likely, willing to face the third rejection. Its fuckup at times, We're all young, and you might think that love is a early thing. Your wrong, love comes in all ages. For me, it came at the time when im feeling down, where love comforted me and gave me hope. Not actually hope though, I found love but Its not willing to come to me.

And last, i end with my self composed song. (jk its a song by h.i.m)
"Close To The Flame"

The kiss sweetest
And touch so warm
The smile kindest
In this world so cold and strong

So close to the flame
Burning brightly
It won't fade away
And leave us lonely

The arms safest
And words, so good
The faith deepest
In this world so cold and cruel

So close to the flame
Burning brightly
It won't fade away
And leave us lonely
.

Sorry Girl

2006-05-21T00:16:00.000+08:00

In this blog entry, i would actually love to talk about many different things that happened the past few days as well as today, But i wont. The purpose of this blog entry was just to say how i felt about what happened today and yesterday.
As shown in my previous blog entry, i whined and ranted about how i was looking forward to the meeting and stuffs like that. Some of you might think about how bad this girl must really be to actually had done something like that. But the truth is, YOUR WRONG. Im the one who is the bastard, not just a bastard actually. But a selfish fucking ignorant asshole sucker. IT Was'nt without reason that she did'nt came, IT HAD A REASON. AND THAT REASON I TOTALLY OVERLOOKED IT. I ASSUMED MISTAKENLY, FUCK IT DUDE. SHE WAS ACTUALLY SICK, DOWN WITH FLU AND FEVER! Damned it dude, There i was outside, ranting and whining about how i feel , how miserable i was, and how lonely i was. And there she was lieing on the bed? What the fuck was i doing man. I just kept cursing and whining when i heard that she could'nt come, but i did'nt ask why! Until today night then i know why, How ignorant could i have been?
Theres no words to describe the shit i've done. No sorry word is suitable for an action i had done. But still, I would really say Im terrible Sorry. I don't hope for any forgivement, but just please do something to me, cut off my finger or my arm or anything. Just to clense my guilt =
And lastly, i would like to say Thank you to you 3! today, for keeping me company. For listening to me, for helping me. For blessing me and for cheering me up.! Happy birthday yuxi.
--------------------------------------
Quote from Jos
In life, there are times when Im so busy.
I could not even say hi,
Make a call
or send a reply.
But it doesent mean that I've forggoten you.
Because in my heart,
I've kept you.

KAN SUAY LA

2006-05-19T23:00:00.000+08:00

KAN SUAY LA. WHY ALWAYS LIKE THAT! SO MANY YEARS LONELY LIAO, WHY MUST LONELY AGAIN. WHY CANNOT CHANGE ONE. WA LAN EH. FUCK LA, My birthday why must so cb, always like that =I've went to orchard with Genesis and Geraldine today, Note that im in a kan suay mood so i wont really...well joke about it.

I've went to school as usual, im late. Was scolded by mrs abdul, about some other issues as well. She sometimes is quite hurtful with her words, she aim my most sensitive part, My parents. My hair was cutted btw, It's fucking ugly without its fringe. When i reached class, what i expected to see happened. Many of them was absent, some with valid reasons and some just wanna skip school for fun. After school i've met Geraldine at 173 bus-stop, black bag, usual pants. And a new t-shirt, which was very pretty. We then decided to buy some chocolates, which i promised to, after buying we went to take the bus 14. And we saw suddenly saw this sign called, K-A-Y P-O-H street. hahaha, i was laughing my ass off when i saw it, you should know what i mean.

After that we went to meet Gen in plaza sing, she wore quite nice clothes too, Unique green clothes.( or was it purple, sorry im too forgetful). We then went to buy my present, i remember we came a lot of clothes shop which some of them had fake dolls displaying their clothes. And some of them had nudity, i could see the nipple. I thought porn not allowed in singapore =\. And they wanted to buy me a underwear for my present too lol. We finally bought the present at marks and spencer, a piggy sweet.Theres one with friends too, but they bought me the one without the friends. We then began to window shop a bit until we're finally hungry and decided to eat pizza hut. We ordered bake rice and Lasagna, Im telling you, I was fucking full when i even took a bite from it, But i have no choice, i ordered. And while we're playing we played stupid games like tai di, and some other retarded games the girls introduced. The cute thing was that when geraldine was playing tai di, It was my turn, i put a pair of two di. Then guess what she put ? She put a pair of two threes. Hahaha, genesis got the video of it too. And finally we played a game of True or dare. [A spade HAHA].
We then went to take neoprint, whoa i tell you man. When we went in, the whole place was stinking like shit. It was fun though, taking again with them. Different dresses too, except for me =\ Then finally i had to meet my parents, then genesis went to meet her church friends. And Geraldine went back to her estate. Fuck , the excursion ended because of me. So sorry. And then i had buffet for dinner, how retard was that.

Damned, now i fucking no mood. Really, too much already, dunno why. Sian, I thought okay liao then when i asked again, this kind of thing happened. Kan suay la. =\. IM LIKE SO MOODLESS FOR ANY OTHER ACTIVITIES TOMMOROW. Because of it, i flared at deadayo.=But i really cannot tahan, but also not her fault what. her father needed her to do something. Even if its not her father or anything, I guessed its still not her fault. Its my fault for not clarifying what. But its just that i was really looking forward to it. And that i had certain plans for it already, But not all gone. Just a little dissapointed, but cannot help it what. Its just that i actually thought that this year won't be that lonely then, but to my despair. Haha, i guess theres no helping it, Also not her fault. ^^

no mood

2006-05-05T17:38:00.000+08:00

Sorry , but today i have absolutely no mood to blog at all.
All i can say that is just that im very useless, and i cant do anything for you.
So Sorry.