Yu Xi;
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Wednesday, May 31, 2006
You know, the thing about guys is that, sometimes they could be such boring creatures. They could actually be someone very rock, very noisy, very cheerful and lame. But there will always be a time when they turn into boring creatures. And that time, would be when they are in love. The thing is that, when the more guys care, the less fun it gets. In front of their love one they wanna be the best and try to hide as many bad points as much as possible, but then It normally ends letting the girl feel very bored. And guys would normally set a certain boundary to what they say and what they do. I believe that many of us are experiencing this. Personally, I am. Then i noticed that, Its actually better to say whatever you want. Do whatever you want, in that way at least u would make the girl more comfortable.. .then again its easier said than done.
Im back to more blogging now that its holidays. Right now i wanna personally thank vivien for introducing me that show, it really matured my thinking in many ways, thanks a lot =D.
And, I would like to say the biggest thank you to geraldine. For being so honest with me, That sentence you had there really had me thinking and set me back to my human state. It managed to let me think through the things i done and do something about it. But, Im still slowly changing. Give me some time. LOLOLOLOL. Done.
yu xi-de ! 2:46 PM
Thursday, May 25, 2006
Roflmao ! I ACTUALLY WROTE SOMETHING LIKE THAT IN MY PREVIOUS BLOG ENTRY? HAHAHAHAHA, WHAT A RETARDED IDIOT I AM! Sorry, its a way of distressing. How!? Parents meeting leh. If only my parents would think the same as every parent! They would look at my results, 3 fail badly, 4 passes, okay ignore the passes and aim straight for the fail, SCOLDING SESSION BEGINS NOW!
No seriously, Im extremely nervous right now. Because its my dad, Im imagining him talking to my teacher, and slapping his forehead while listening. And screaming at me in an unpleasant way. Dude, you have no idea how freaking scary that is. The last time was in sec 1 , when my dad had to meet miss sim. DAMNED I NEARLY SHIT MY PANTS, jk.
yu xi-de ! 7:09 PM
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Ug, that really fucked me really hard there. I was quite fucking sad when i read it, Hurt actually. After all the things i did? Damned, I...guessed theres no helping it then. IT cannot be forced. I was right, the third doesen't even need to happen and i know im down. Why isit that its always jeremy getting all the luck? There's none left for me at all. Fuck me, face it im jealous.
You know? you always asked me why am i so happy? The answer i replied was, because im naturally happy, because if your not naturally happy its not true happiness already? But its not it. The reason why im happy is because, I could look at you. And its not all, the reason why im happy is because we can talk together. And the reason why im truely happy, is because i met you.
Parents meeting is coming, everything is coming. But all of these are not important, what im really concerned about is whether im willing to take the step forward, or rather most likely, willing to face the third rejection. Its fuckup at times, We're all young, and you might think that love is a early thing. Your wrong, love comes in all ages. For me, it came at the time when im feeling down, where love comforted me and gave me hope. Not actually hope though, I found love but Its not willing to come to me.
And last, i end with my self composed song. (jk its a song by h.i.m)
"Close To The Flame"
The kiss sweetest
And touch so warm
The smile kindest
In this world so cold and strong
So close to the flame
Burning brightly
It won't fade away
And leave us lonely
The arms safest
And words, so good
The faith deepest
In this world so cold and cruel
So close to the flame
Burning brightly
It won't fade away
And leave us lonely
.
yu xi-de ! 7:58 PM
Sunday, May 21, 2006
In this blog entry, i would actually love to talk about many different things that happened the past few days as well as today, But i wont. The purpose of this blog entry was just to say how i felt about what happened today and yesterday.
As shown in my previous blog entry, i whined and ranted about how i was looking forward to the meeting and stuffs like that. Some of you might think about how bad this girl must really be to actually had done something like that. But the truth is, YOUR WRONG. Im the one who is the bastard, not just a bastard actually. But a selfish fucking ignorant asshole sucker. IT Was'nt without reason that she did'nt came, IT HAD A REASON. AND THAT REASON I TOTALLY OVERLOOKED IT. I ASSUMED MISTAKENLY, FUCK IT DUDE. SHE WAS ACTUALLY SICK, DOWN WITH FLU AND FEVER! Damned it dude, There i was outside, ranting and whining about how i feel , how miserable i was, and how lonely i was. And there she was lieing on the bed? What the fuck was i doing man. I just kept cursing and whining when i heard that she could'nt come, but i did'nt ask why! Until today night then i know why, How ignorant could i have been?
Theres no words to describe the shit i've done. No sorry word is suitable for an action i had done. But still, I would really say Im terrible Sorry. I don't hope for any forgivement, but just please do something to me, cut off my finger or my arm or anything. Just to clense my guilt =
And lastly, i would like to say Thank you to you 3! today, for keeping me company. For listening to me, for helping me. For blessing me and for cheering me up.! Happy birthday yuxi.
--------------------------------------
Quote from Jos
In life, there are times when Im so busy.
I could not even say hi,
Make a call
or send a reply.
But it doesent mean that I've forggoten you.
Because in my heart,
I've kept you.
yu xi-de ! 12:16 AM
Friday, May 19, 2006
KAN SUAY LA. WHY ALWAYS LIKE THAT! SO MANY YEARS LONELY LIAO, WHY MUST LONELY AGAIN. WHY CANNOT CHANGE ONE. WA LAN EH. FUCK LA, My birthday why must so cb, always like that =I've went to orchard with Genesis and Geraldine today, Note that im in a kan suay mood so i wont really...well joke about it.
I've went to school as usual, im late. Was scolded by mrs abdul, about some other issues as well. She sometimes is quite hurtful with her words, she aim my most sensitive part, My parents. My hair was cutted btw, It's fucking ugly without its fringe. When i reached class, what i expected to see happened. Many of them was absent, some with valid reasons and some just wanna skip school for fun. After school i've met Geraldine at 173 bus-stop, black bag, usual pants. And a new t-shirt, which was very pretty. We then decided to buy some chocolates, which i promised to, after buying we went to take the bus 14. And we saw suddenly saw this sign called, K-A-Y P-O-H street. hahaha, i was laughing my ass off when i saw it, you should know what i mean.
After that we went to meet Gen in plaza sing, she wore quite nice clothes too, Unique green clothes.( or was it purple, sorry im too forgetful). We then went to buy my present, i remember we came a lot of clothes shop which some of them had fake dolls displaying their clothes. And some of them had nudity, i could see the nipple. I thought porn not allowed in singapore =\. And they wanted to buy me a underwear for my present too lol. We finally bought the present at marks and spencer, a piggy sweet.Theres one with friends too, but they bought me the one without the friends. We then began to window shop a bit until we're finally hungry and decided to eat pizza hut. We ordered bake rice and Lasagna, Im telling you, I was fucking full when i even took a bite from it, But i have no choice, i ordered. And while we're playing we played stupid games like tai di, and some other retarded games the girls introduced. The cute thing was that when geraldine was playing tai di, It was my turn, i put a pair of two di. Then guess what she put ? She put a pair of two threes. Hahaha, genesis got the video of it too. And finally we played a game of True or dare. [A spade HAHA].
We then went to take neoprint, whoa i tell you man. When we went in, the whole place was stinking like shit. It was fun though, taking again with them. Different dresses too, except for me =\ Then finally i had to meet my parents, then genesis went to meet her church friends. And Geraldine went back to her estate. Fuck , the excursion ended because of me. So sorry. And then i had buffet for dinner, how retard was that.
Damned, now i fucking no mood. Really, too much already, dunno why. Sian, I thought okay liao then when i asked again, this kind of thing happened. Kan suay la. =\. IM LIKE SO MOODLESS FOR ANY OTHER ACTIVITIES TOMMOROW. Because of it, i flared at deadayo.=But i really cannot tahan, but also not her fault what. her father needed her to do something. Even if its not her father or anything, I guessed its still not her fault. Its my fault for not clarifying what. But its just that i was really looking forward to it. And that i had certain plans for it already, But not all gone. Just a little dissapointed, but cannot help it what. Its just that i actually thought that this year won't be that lonely then, but to my despair. Haha, i guess theres no helping it, Also not her fault. ^^
yu xi-de ! 11:00 PM
Friday, May 05, 2006
Sorry , but today i have absolutely no mood to blog at all.
All i can say that is just that im very useless, and i cant do anything for you.
So Sorry.
yu xi-de ! 5:38 PM
Thursday, May 04, 2006
LOL OH NOES! ITS GEOGRAPHY AND MATHS! IM FAILING. NoOooOOoO. I think im so gonna fail my maths because i think i am gonna. As for my geography, in the exams i write until my hands became numb .
Then again, we actually decided to go to jurong east today to study. We then realized its not possible because gen was with us -.-. She did'nt want to study and so did i, because i just dont feel like it.Then we had lunch at the food court there, GERALDINE WAS SO FUNNY LOL, The way she ate was cute and was annoyed cos i laughed hard. Then i had my retribution later, when we were about to take neoprints (AGAIN LOL ) i feel my stomach becoming extremelely painful, till the extent that its unbearable and i had to sit down.
There's this group of girl taking ridiculously high amount of time in the neoprint shop we wanted to print in, then finally went in, made a few pose. As usual , i've made completely no pose no feelings no expression pose at all, but i like . Then i realized that why that group of girl took a long time , it is because we were taking so long that i nearly fell asleep when they were drawing. Gah, then because my stomach was so painful , the excursion had to be cancelled. Sorry girls =( .
yu xi-de ! 4:19 PM
Oh dear, tommorow is geography and maths, Im so stressed but wait, guess what? Im gonna go study with geraldine gen bravin, ah gong to the library to study. So i guessed, We'll be studying, i hope LOL.
I met them after school today, but something is strange. Im being avoided , and it seems that she's angry with me LOL. Later did i find out that their playing with me. We then went to fotostep some worksheets for reference, Geraldine seems really pissed because the auntie at the counter won't let her fotostep her papers first when its only 3 sets of one paper. As she was turning pale, i decided i should queue up for her, Kalaivani then saw me and decided to let me first.
We later then went to our usual place, Jurong library. Ching yang and bravin wanted to save money so they decided to take bus, while Us the money spenders went to take a cab. =We had lunch at the cafeteria in jurong library, i had fish n chips while the other two had drumlets and the same as me. Something is honestly strange with me, after i finished my meal I feel extremely full and unmovable just from a tiny meal. Anyway In the end we did study, was kinda surprised though, but not much ya. After that we went to take a neoprint, but bravin and ah gong did'nt follow us they had to go to tuition awww =(.
IT WAS MY FIRST 9$ NEOPRINT! LOL AND ITS SO EXPENSIVE! I THOUGHT IT WAS SUPPOSE TO BE 4$!? I remember clearly , that it was 4$ when i was 12 years old, hmpf price changes so fast.
Then we all went home, and geraldine take care ya. Your face was obviously fairer that day (meaning pale) and your stomach hurts i can tell, Ling gan. Please take good care of yourself, i don't wanna lose a cousin.
yu xi-de ! 3:47 PM
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
Recently , I've been so obssesed with H.I.M especially the song "Love and Lonely" because Im experiencing it right now. Guess what happened today, i was clarified, make cleared with. Although its a good thing, i still don't like it because its as though its all my fault and not his. He mades a mistake and brush it away with an apology. As much as i don't like it, i can't do anything about it. However, i did learn something. That is, who were my friends and who weren't. Who were the ones that would believe i've never done such a thing. Not much but a few, i then realised that it was the old friends i had, as well as my cousin(Naturally she would, she knew everything ). I just wanna say that, my cousin has helped me so much during the times i was down. And i appreciate it, thanks...
I went to school today ( which i did'nt want to because of countless reasons) and noticed that everyone was just like i presumed[Ask me if you wanna]. After that, i was clarified by him, he said he made a big mistake and then apologized. I did'nt really care about it though, i've seen how some people work now. Im really sorry i've said such weird stuff tonight, geraldine.
yu xi-de ! 9:04 PM
Monday, May 01, 2006
Love and lonely. To be in love and lonely is true agony, is true torture.This few days i've been feeling weird, but thats fine over time because eventually, it becomes a habit. I dont know why im so sensitive over such things, like people talking to my favourite friend. I get easily jealous or so, i also feel uncomfortable, perhaps its because i don't have much friends now.
I woke up at 9 today, obviously its not something i want. My parent's large movement woke me up which is actually not a bad thing at all, at least i could get to prepare earlier for the excursion i had later on. Yes! Geraldine could at least come for the so called "Study" group we have on the afternoon, i did'nt knew how she convinced her mom as she did'nt want to tell me =(. Anyway, she woke up at 10.44(Im sure about it) and asked me to call her back at 11. Then something funny happened during this time. I was lying on my bed, looking at the clock , 10.51,10.52,10.53,10.54,10.55................11.15! LOL I ACTUALLY FELL ALSLEEP WHILE I WAS LOOKING AT IT! Feeling embarrased i then hurried called her to see if she's awake or not, i was actually expecting her to be awaken since its 15 minutes after what she told me . The strange thing is that, I smsed her upteem times and she did'nt even replied to a single one of them. Thinking that it may be because she's bathing, Ii waited and then finally called again at 11.30. To my great dissapointment, her father picked up and said she was still sleeping. LOL and btw she was extremely cranky this morning which i dont know for what reason.
Anyway, after all those bullshits and stuff Geraldine and I finally meet up at the 173 bus stop. Damned, i was late by 4 minutes =( . She then said she wanted to buy some chocolates(LOL CHOCOLATE RETARDNESS, despite the ants, STILL...) We eventually met with vivian at the breaktalk shop (Yes its break, thats how they pronounce it-.-) and went to mos burger to have some burgers DUH LOL. I had mos burger, while the other two had alien burgers. I was conned =( , I thought that mos burger was suppose to be looking fancy just like the poster . It WAS HORRIBLE, I had to clean my hands with tissue paper every single time i take a bite. I did'nt want to keep this horrible scene for long thats why i quickly finished the burger so as to not let them take any picture of me slaughtering. We later then went to walk around endlesslly which i dont know for what purpose (Hey we're suppose to study). And eventually we settled down at a large cafe named Delifrance and guess what. We're quite embarrased when we walked in because we're just finding a place to sit down and "Study". Left with no choice, we had to buy something in order to be not kicked out of the cafe. Although we only ordered ice-cream, i don't understand why must the waiter give that kind of stuck up face. Oh well, we just have to bear with it . But something's strange, we already decided on studying already, why is'nt anyone taking out their books yet.? LOL we stayed there until 4+ WITHOUT STUDYING AT ALL. (Okay i admit it, its all my fault. If i haven't crack those lame jokes") There goes the endless wandering around again, those stupid people made me do something so embarrassing that i would'nt even dare trying to remember it. They made me walk with them up and down the escalator for fun without me even noticing that im doing it. When i actually noticed it, we already walked 3 rounds LOL. Filled with guilt we've decided to really study for a while, we went to the mos burger again. We ordered some prawn craps and some fries.
I won't say we never, we did study abit towards the end. I learnt that reading on just a single page of geography for 1 hour might just let u learn more about maps :)
Finally, they decided to get some friendship necklace or stuffs like that. I have no choice but to wait for them. Seriously, they took so long that i knew something bad happened then i eventually came to check it out. Somehow the auntie cheated them of their money by not giving them a refund even though the auntie gave them the wrong items. I was quite pissed so i went to confront the auntie and eventually made things sorted out, maybe its because of my size -.- . Comparing mine and geraldine's 4:1. LOL. And that shop was Yellow.
We went home shortly after the shopping, because they have to give in to me as i have to reach home by 7+ inorder to open the door for my younger brother. As when we went home, WE SAW not one nor two, MILLIONS OF BANGRAS LOL. Which i dont know whats the gathering about. India vs Singapore? i dont think so .
Note that i've cut short a lot of things, even cutting the whole thing about geraldine buying her shoes. -.- This is because my dad is cranky and is very angry with me for no reason. Therefore i have to end my speech, good night peeps
yu xi-de ! 10:05 PM
Chay Yu Xi;
What can i say?
Everybody's changing and I dont feel the same
playing now
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