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Yu Xi;
TAG ME!
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
No when, no want, no worry.
Sometimes , We're often reminded so many times but we might not really understand them. Its like people telling you so many times that you had changed, But you still do not understand what has been changed. However, you'll only realize it when you REALLY DO UNDERSTAND.
I've took a look at a old picture of mine, At first it was just like any other ordinary tease. As I look at it further, different angles. I just realized that I had been totally lost. What have i been doing all this while, In the past. I was very happy, yes I enjoyed most of the time. I often frantically smile at the smallest things, I am easily happy. Whenever I was with my friends, I was so happy I've always felt contended. There was no void, no space, and no emptiness.
The period of time with Geraldine, I've learnt a lot of things. So much that I've changed into a completely different person. A phrase she said today to me that really strucked me open, and left me speechless. "See la, everyday dota dota dota" She meant it as a joke, But little did she know that I've wasted so much of my time. Changing, changing , changing, changing, and dota was just a little factor of it. I've changed so badly , so badly I couldn't even recognize myself. What on earth had I done with myself, I made myself so stressed up till my complexion went bad, I've made myself so upset with life that i wasn't happy for a long period of time.
I've experienced a different part of life, a part i've never wanted to experienced. As I frantically took a picture of Genesis, Geraldine and I. I've covered a part of my face, I cant believe I looked like a girl. Quite embarrassed , But that period of time was damn fun .
But at least I do know now, Ya maybe I can never be how i used to be emotionally. But on the physique side, I would want to be better. It does not only help me mentally, But also confidentally(Is there such a word O_O.
In the past , I was concerned with myself. Im not even concerned with myself now. There is this deep void, this deep sense of void. Play my interesting piano, Nah..It doesn't fill the void. Play my favourite game dota, Nah...It doesn't fill the void.. Friends.. Nah..Different feeling.
I'll find the solid to clear my void. Soon..
yu xi-de ! 9:34 PM
Chay Yu Xi;
What can i say?
Everybody's changing and I dont feel the same
playing now
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