As the pok of dick sings in my ass
I feel like a dick
I feel like a turd
I feel like a shit
I feel like a dickhead/shithead.
But i feel happy.
This might sound like any other rant to any of you, but trust me. Im actually very disappointed with myself over this. Everytime i attempted to do my music well, I FAIL
I really really really wanna play my piano well. I think i've said this more than 10 times; I use realistic figures ok, unlike . LOL
Recently i feel really disappointed over myself over certain issues. The first, is of course my piano. HONESTLY, My parents had spent more than over 10 thousand on this "hobby" of mine. And ya la, sometimes they would say "very nice!, very well played" etc. I would say, they just dont know how to gauge between the levels of a average player and a noob. I fall between the lines of worse than a noob.
I really really feel so stupid, whenever i've got the determination for something; Results, exercising etc.
I will give up half way, damn it.
2nd, I dont usually talk much about my siblings. But up till this day, i must say i really respect my older brother a lot. Although he used to tease me when i was young; We used to punch EACH OTHER WHEN WE WERE YOUNG YOU KNOW! When he grew older, he will never push his responsibilities of a older brother away. Although so obviously he is in the superior side, he never fails to take his time to teach me chemistry. My older brother is not someone is exceptionally blessed with the tongue, but nonetheless he can speak very well; just not exceptionally well. But my older brother is someone whom i really love. Which is why, i decided i should strive to become like him. HE IS SO SKINNY NOW, damn it so muscular. Of course la, he is shorter than me and all. But in terms of mass/wideness i own him upside down(And i am very ashamed of myself LOL).
3rd, Guts.
I've got only one sentence for this section.
How long could you play the waiting and dreaming game?
The other day i went to yen sze's so called gathering, i enjoyed myself thoroughly. Found some new friends, Wen hui and guo jun and leslie and some 2 guys which i so obviously forggoten their name. Wen hui's a funky girl, and guo jun's a gentle guy and leslie's a i have no comment guy.
We played basketball, and guo jun kept thinking im going clubbing after that due to my UNIFORM.
But in all, i had a wonderful time and of course a very well deserved experience.
A good friend of mine quarrelled, and we got back as normal, and quarrelled, and got back as normal. Oh man this karmic-cycle is never ending. But im happy enough to know a dick.
Anyway, today i went to eat my feared meatballs. I mean, it tasted nice la. But damn it, I tell you i think im some how allergic to it. I am feeling the coodies after a while T_T . Anyway, i was with the emog company, the emotional Gs. They were so quiet, and quiet. Sigh, and they have weird combinations of food. Meatballs with CAKE? COME ON! LOL.
We did a lot of kinky stuff in the whole of ikea, and even played hide and seek with GERRI! LOL, AND GENESIS FELL DOWN BOO HOO.
yu xi-de ! 7:20 PM
Knocking sense into me was one of my friend's favourite past time. I was quite stumped when i got prompted yet again about the most annoying issue.
Yes, I believe that i am undeserving. Sometimes i just feel that, if someone had lost faith in me. It is something i asked for, and something that i should had no complains about.
But somehow, somewhat i'll manage it. Be it emotionally, or mentally.
I figured that no one is obliged to care for you in this world, So i'll tell myself that i'll love myself and mostly myself.
It is up to us to find the light, in this dark world. We cannot rely on family or parents any more. We need to be self-reliant. Not just financially. Emotionally, mentally, psychologically.
* Everyone in your current life, will, sooner or later, make his or her exit.
Nothing is eternal. Only you yourself, would follow you through your journey of life. Even your spouse will make an exit one day.
Yes, the love between you and your partner can be very, very strong. But even the sun would run out of energy, 500 billion years later.
What I want to say is: rely on no one but yourself. Seek to understand yourself. Understand that nothing in this world is permanent. Seek to be contented with what you have. Do not let self-contentment hinder your progress, but do not let your lack of progress cause emotional distress.
This is something i will constantly tell myself. thanks hexakosioihexakontahexaphobia.
yu xi-de ! 10:56 PM
OBVIOUSLY YOU HAVE NO GRASP OVER ENGLISH.
I SAID, RATHER THAN CONCERNING ABOUT HOW I FUCKING FEEL. WHY NOT YOU ADDRESS TO THE ACTUAL ISSUE. OH GOD, DO YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND? OH FUCK YOU, ALL YOU THINK IS ABOUT YOUR FUCKING FUCKED UP SELF BUT YOU CANT GIVE ANY CONSIDERATION TO ME. "now i'll tell you how i feel, ya blah blah blah". FUCK YOU! I've always been tolerant, and very very appreciative. DONT FUCKING TELL ME ABOUT BEING APPRECIATIVE, WHEN YOU NEVER DO. FUCKING DAMN IT, I DONT SCORN OVER TRIVIAL MATTERS. OH FUCK WHY AM I SO AFFECTED
yu xi-de ! 9:51 PM
Tell me when will you be mine?
Tell me quando quando quando...
I think im quite the fool afterall.
Am i a joke?
No, take me seriously please.
Jo, You are totally bullying me. And i am affected
stop it you piece of shit NEH.
yu xi-de ! 8:05 PM
A good friend of mine showed me a picture, showing a orange shoe and retarded shoes with the captions saying; "True friends leave foot prints in your heart". Sigh, she's such a sweet dick head at times LOL.
Just when i thought that i was LOSING WEIGHT, I GAINED WEIGHT eating icecream again! And its not just today! abcdefggggggggg wants to eat ice cream as though its a daily routine. Aiya nvm, we'll play more basketball , baseball, soccerball, ballball. LOL
So anyway, i went to eat ice cream with dick today. It was damn fun, and we had a lot of "bitching", And we couldn't find our photos but we did a lot of lame photos. Geraldine and i even took photos with the owner of MAC DONALDS! =>. I mean ronald itself, ya la the statue damn it. And seriously, when you go out with dick its so cool. Because dick is a dick, dick is not a dick because dick is a dick, thats why dick is a dick.
Anyway, we went to ugly world shortly after that. We saw many ugly things, and obviously i think we over dressed because ya la it was my idea to go office style. We look so formal sia, and 70% of the time dick was acting formal and making me like a fool LOL HAHAHAHA.
Then dick went home , and lived happily ever after. I had a very fun day, thanks!
To think about it, i wasn't really affected when i heard the news. Guessed i wasn't really that attached to her. Its a good thing , she was a good friend. However, she just cant seem to be able to communicate properly with me. Ya true, we can talk a lot but the bottom line is can we really "COMMUNICATE". I cant tell her my problems, she'll be busy all over when we're even on the phone.
I really want to be good in something. I really wanna do something well. I wanna excel in something. At least piano, =(.
Ever wondered why eye brows are brown?
yu xi-de ! 10:10 PM
LOL I FEEL SO BAD, SORRY POKSSSssssss
It's best to wait for the one you want than settle or one that's available.
Best to wait for the one you love than one who is around.
Best to wait for the right one because life is too short to waste on just
someone.
Your a dick.
yu xi-de ! 12:37 AM